Day 1

Today wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Bug is teething and she is miserable. Last night she was up every hour and a half, fussing and crying. Since she was up, that means I was too. My plan was to get up with J this morning, since he didn't have to be in until 700, and have some coffee and spend a bit of time with him before the cycle started and I don't see him for three weeks. Unfortunatley, I didn't wake up until I heard the dead bolt on the front door. Sad that I missed him, I got up and made some coffee and took care of Bug. Still miserable from her night, she crawled around the living room fussing for a bit, then looked me square in the face and said, "Where's dada?" Then she started crying. I'm sure thats not really what she said, but it sure sounded that way and it made me even more sad.

The day began to progress into one of those days when every little thing you do goes wrong and all you want to do is you want to do is get back in bed. Hoping I would feel better, I went shopping at Walmart with a friend. Her night was like mine, so neither one of us was very happy about being there and quickly got the shopping done. We decided to take the girls to the lake since the weather was beautiful and we both needed some sun. As we were leaving walmart, we noticed a man standing in line at the McDonald's with a GIANT hole in the butt of his cotton shorts. By giant I mean the seams had busted and there was at least a four inch gaping hole, and people, I'm pretty sure he wasn't wearing underwear. The frightening thing was he was woth someone and they didn't seem to care about the hole. My friend and I laughed so hard, I almost pee'd myself. We laughed all the way to the car and the entire time we were putting groceries in the car.

After that, the day was great! We had an awesome time at the lake with the girls. We had a nice cold coffee from starbucks and we went back to her house and ordered chinese takeout for dinner. It was delicious and it hit the spot!

I think sometimes I ((and maybe, you)) need a reminder that your day ((and your mood)) is what you make of it. There is always something to smile about, something to laugh about and something to appreciate. Today I appreciate the fact that I have a friend that will laugh with me when things suck... And one that would tell me if I had a giant gaping hole in the butt of my clothes.

<3

The end of this week marks the end of a three week break in BCT cycles. My Husband is currently doing his duty for the Army as a Drill Sergeant. The beginning of a new cycle, starts nine weeks of being a single wife and mom. I handle everything and anything that you can think of so my husband only has get up and work and to come home and sleep. Neither one of us was prepared for what this job really meant. When it was offered to him in theater, the promise of not being deployed for two or more years blinded us from what him being a Drill Sergeant really meant.

He works insane hours that only the military could force on someone. He has to be at work by 430 in the morning and during the first four weeks isn't usually home until 9pm. By then all he wants to do is come home and crash. Last cycle he went five straight days without seeing Bug. She was sleeping when he left and sleeping when he got home. It's not just the work hours that make this job the worst one in the Army, we were actually quite prepared for them. Its the red-tape that comes along with it. Thanks to the new "nicer Army," there are several rules that make it increasingly difficult to train someone and to make them understand discipline when you cannot properly show them that for every action there is a reaction.

As with all jobs, some of the NCO's do not help the situation. How can you teach someone to have military bearing if your strutting around holding your belt with ACU's "sagging," and your cap on crooked, talking to your chain of command like you talk to your homies, like your some big shot rap god or something? Or you're fat and lazy? Do people really not think JOE doesn't catch on to these things?

It doesn't help that J came from an Airborne unit. An extremely squared away unit, especially by this post's standards. It is hard for him to go from that to here, where the Army standards bend to every person who cannot handle them. I remember J used to talk crap about DS's. He used to tell me about ate-up JOEs that he had just recieved. He now says that doing this job is Karma for that. It wasn't the trainers that caused undisciplined, rag-bag soldiers, it's the red-tape.

This will be his fourth cycle. The first two were the toughest, when the third started I cried. It's hard to feel single when your husband is laying in bed next tp you. The cycle starts and we both have two different lives that cross each other for an hour at night. We try and make the most of the time we have, but it's still hard. He's spent his day enduring unrelenting stupidity, while I've spent mine with a screaming child. At the end of the day, what we both really want is a break. I think now we have gotten into a groove, though. I know what is ahead and I am ready for it. We know we will out of here soon and back to "the real Army." We have the countdown widget on the desktop. And even though it has sucked royally to go through this, I wouldn't change it for the world. Getting through this has made our marriage and our family stronger than anything else I could possibly image. If we can make it through this, we can make it through anything. <3

SchmAlex

My best friend's ex-boyfriend died yesterday. They had what you might call a complicated relationship, but I know they loved each other. The situation itself is quite complicated. I'm so sad for her.

Briana and I have known each other since we were in the first grade. We were in the first grade and the second grade together, then I moved away. When I was in highschool, my family moved back to the area and we spent our junior and senior years together. In highschool, I kind of protected her. After highschool we lost touch for a few years. I had gotten married and she was doing what normal eighteen year olds do. When I was twenty, after just getting out of the military, I went home to live with my mom to figure my life out. I had just found myspace and was searching through old highschool friends and I found Briana. We chatted on myspace and got together for coffee and then we were together almost every day after that.

Her life was different than mine. Where I had had a difficult time working for everything I had, she had it easy. Or at least it seemed easy to me. Her boyfriend, Alex, was older than her and had struck it rich during the .com bang. She lived in a giant beautiful house in Walnut Creek, Ca. She drove a brand new BMW HM3, new boobs, a new smile and hair extentions. Plus a huge walk in closet full of name brand clothes. While she went to school, I worked my pitiful part-time job at Build a Bear Workshop and watched my brothers kids for not enough money to cover my bills. I thought she had it made. For our twenty-first birthdays ((three days a part)) he sent the two of us and two other friends to spend a long weekend in Las Vegas. We stayed at the Bellagio in amazing rooms that overlooked the pools. We spent four days partying it up. It was a blast!

I really did think she had it all, but we all know the grass is always greener. In the year I spent hanging out at their house, I saw Alex a total of maybe five times. He was always gone on business and came and went at all hours of the night. I remember they used to meet for lunch and that would be the only time she would see him during the week. Ever her protector, I would try and smooth things out when him and I were waiting on her or if we had a minute alone. After a while, things went bad between them and one night Briana knocked on her friend's door and her friend answered naked after having just got "out of the shower" and Alex was sitting in the dark. After that, We started refferring to him as SchmAlex because we didn't like him anymore. It was crazy. They each moved on and so did I. Mine and Briana's lives went in two different directions after that. Bri started working in a bar in the city and I moved to NC, got married and had a baby.

Its crazy to think he's gone now. He died in a car accident which, unfortunately, is not that surprising. One time I sat in the back of that HM3 and watched him do 160 through rush hour traffic. Sometimes death is a tragedy and sometimes it is not. Alex had lived a full life. He got to do WAY more than most people I know twice his age. He had money, love and friendship. Most people leave with only having had two of those three.

Bye, SchmAlex. You'll be thought about often.

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