Some new designs :)

I thought I would share some of my new designs to get some feedback from everyone. I hope you like them! The official move in date at the mall is Oct. 15th and Oct 10th I am working with the owner at The Spirit of Survival Walk for Breast Cancer Research here in Lawton, Ok. I'm really looking forward to that opportunity. A portion of every sale will go directly to breast cancer research. I found a hutch for the display in the store that I am STOKED about! I can't wait to get it home and paint it and put it in the store!

Warning: I am NOT a photographer... Hope the pictures do the products justice.

Anyways... on to that new stuff I was telling you about.

The necklace pendant. It turned out great!! I think they will be good sellers!


This is an "Army Dad" decanter. The back has dogtags "hanging" on to it :)


My favorite new design :) "Army mom" double sided 5x7 frame with dogtags "hanging" on the backside.



"Army Wife" frame has stage-carved "camouflage" carved on it 4x6 frame

There are several more in the works, including a decanter with only the dogtags "hanging" on it, some Army-themed wine glasses and such. And for all you other non-Army service wives, the items can all be customized for your specific branch... Im just at an Army post. 2+2=4.

If you see something you'd like for your house just send me an e-mail. None of this is on the website yet :)

lol hey, a girl can try right? ;0)

A short essay by me:

I like beer.

The end.

List maker, List maker, make me a list...

My meeting yesterday morning went great. The owner of the HissyFitz store in Lawton Central Mall will be proudly selling Sugar Bee's originals, hopefully, by the end of next week. We discussed things for an hour yesterday and decided it would be the best if I paid a "rental" fee for a spot in the store. I have to get a shelf for my stuff and it will be my job to go in and merchandise and all of that. She is very excited and when she looked at some of my stuff, out-right said that it would sell as long as I kept it stocked. All of this is exactly what I needed.

I feel like I have been walking around asleep. I got home yesterday and couldn't believe the level of disaster my house had reached. I'm behind in my homework in all THREE classes and on top of the house and school, my designer/business owner-A.D.D. has kicked in with so much recklessness I have lists for my lists sitting at my computer. I'm a list maker. When there are things to be done, I don't panic, I make lists. In the morning, I sit and have my coffee in the quiet and think about all of the things I have to accomplish in the day. I write it all down. It doesn't matter if its two things or twenty. It goes on the list. It also doesn't matter if it's something as menial as taking the trash out. It goes on my list.

My current lists do not contain household chores. They are business lists. Ihave a list of things I will be putting in the store. A list of things design to put in the store. A list of things I have to buy, licenses I need to get, signs I need to make and merchandising products that would be good to get. I also have a list of possible sayings for some cute new mugs. I made a list of numbers. Oy. The numbers. I did some calculations and came up with a number of items I need to sell to make it profitable for me. It's a high number for a girl working out of her garage all by herself. But it's not impossible - cuz it's on the list. Lists. Lists. Lists. Lists.

Oh the lists. So many lists. But I can do anything, as long as it's on the list.

Sugar Bee's Update

I'm not going to even try and play down the funk I've been in. I haven't been posting that much because who wants to listen to a wah-wah-cry baby whine about their lives? Not me. I don't even want to hear it and its MY life ((I'm pretty sure I've pointed this out already)). Well between the job searching, the house cleaning, Hurricane-Bug destroying the house every time I turn my back, and ah yes, accounting homework, this week has been pretty full.

I have been asking God to guide me and help me see what it is I need to do with myself. Is PT work in my future? Do I need to focus on the business? Do I just give up and live the whole of my life un-showered and hiding in my bed? ((Hey don't judge. You know you've been there.)) Well, about as I was finishing my little pep talk with God two nights ago, J's brother IM'd me and reminded me how lucky we are. Yes we are nearing ((someday in the not immediate future)) thirty and we don't have everything we want to have. What twenty-something does? Unless they've robbed a bank, they have rich parents, or won the lottery, not many of them out there. He also pointed out that while we aren't flying off to Rome on a whim, we aren't exactly living out of a box either. Thank you brother in law, for pointing that out.

Then, yet after another pep-talk with God about the work situation, Bug and I walked in to a new store in the mall. The owner was there. It's a cute store; she makes custom bows, t-shirts, headbands and has other gift-typy things. I asked her how business was and if she was a new business owner. She is. She is as frazzled as I am. I told her I call it new owner A.D.D. Then I asked her if she would be willing to sell hand carved stuff; I mean it fits in with the theme of the store? Why not? She then gave me some glass beads and asked me to carve them, then she said she would be willing to keep some of my stuff there in her store and we would work out a co-op relationship. Yay! And it's right before the holiday season starts!! Perfect!!

I think I may have found the kick in the ass I needed to get my butt out of this funk. I designed some Army-themed picture frames and made the designs to go on five of the clear 1.5" round beads she gave me. I made an initial, two local HS mascots, and an "Army Mom" and an "Army Wife." I think the Army ones are pretty cheesy, but hey, it's a Tradoc town. People come from all over for BCT graduations, why shouldn't we cash in on it?





The bible says ask and you'll get an answer. I'd really like to believe that because I asked for guidance, I received it. Now if only I could get an answer with this accounting homework...

It's My Blog, I can cry if I want to

In the last two weeks I think I have probably applied to at least 50 different jobs. If I didn't live in Lawton, I would be pretty worried about my resume at this point. But I do and even that isn't bringing me much comfort at the moment. I was really stoked about my interview yesterday. It went really well and I'm sure the position will be mine for the taking after my second interview this afternoon, If I want it.

You see the job is with a major retail chain. I had deluded myself ((yet again)) into believeing that because the type of job it was, meant it wasn't a "retail" job. Wrong. So. Very. Wrong. It is. They are looking for a floater , which means they cant guarantee any hours - at ALL. And it pays minimum wage. Yay me. Minimum wage. I'm not trying to be a snot here, but minimum wage doesn't cover childcare and gas for my car. Not unless I'm working a more than FT position ((then it's only slightly worth it)) and that obviously isn't happening. So now I have a choice. Continue with the hiring process because some money is better than no money. Or, tell them thanks, but no thanks and keep looking. I mean in all honesty, I haven't made that since I was 16. Am I being unreasonable?

Here's the thing. I haven't had any time the last few weeks to do anything business wise. Have you noticed a lack of Sugar Bee's information? I have. I have had one paying customer. One. It's not because I haven't wanted to work on the business, but there always seems to be something else that has to be done and unless I want to give up sleep ((which could be very dangerous for those around me)) I don't have another option. I'm in a tight spot. Im at a fork in a fork in the road. What we really need right now is extra income. If I could put some effort and time into the business I might be able to bring that in. However, It might take a while and we don't have a while. If I focus on getting a PT job Im losing that time and effort.

I just wish that I knew exactly what to do. Exactly how long it will take and exactly how much it would bring in.

Oh an Award!

I was awarded with the "One Lovely Blog Award" from Whitney at The Misadventures of Mrs. Duh. She's a fellow drill sergeant's wife and I LOVE to read her blog!


Thanks Whitney!!

The rules for accepting this award ar as follows:

1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pay it forward to 5 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.
Here we go!

So passing on the love:
1.) LTArmywife @ Stetsons, Spurs & Stilettos
2.)Mrs. Wood @ Superheros, Princesses, A Soldier & Me
3.) Jill @ A Troop's Girl
4.) Chantal @ A Blog A Day While Your Away
5.) Courtney @ Around the Kitchen Table

Check these ladies out! I love reading their blogs I'm sure you will too!

Things, a Thank you and a Tagging

I dry heaved for three hours last night until I finally threw up and felt better enough to sleep. This is the second time this has happened since my appointment two weeks ago. I wake up extremely nauseous and dry heave until I think my sides will explode. No, for those of you who are wondering, I'm not pregnant. I think they did three blood tests in the week of all my appointments and just for good measure I pee'd on a stick this morning. Negative.

I'm not sure that the pill they gave me is doing much to help the situation in there. I still feel yucky and have cramps. Plus I've been pretty bad about taking it when I'm supposed to. Missing it is actually one of my top three reasons why I hate the pill. I have been trying to ignore the situation as much as possible, to keep from driving myself crazy with 'what-if this?' or 'what-if that?' Last week was a nice distraction. J was on trail break and was home for the most part of the week. We also had bug's party and had to get that taken care of. Another good distraction.

I was a little worried at the start of this week, what my distractions would be for this week, when I realized Im two chapters behind in my accounting class, Bug had a one year appointment and I was waiting on a box from over seas. :) I got that box yesterday. Thank you Kendra for sending it! I lOVE all of it!! And the card was sweet :) Bug's appointment went well, once we were seen. The wait almost spurred an F-U-Lawton post, but I ran out of energy. It was ridiculous. We were at the hospital for more than two hours for bug to be seen and get her shots. We were early to our appointment and the only ones in the immunization clinic and somehow it still took two hours.

I can add another great distraction to the week's list; yesterday I got an interview for an PT office job. It's right up my alley and I'm keeping my everything crossed and praying that I get it. Not only could we use the money, but I could also use the sanity check.

I was tagged by Mrs. Wood at Superheros, Princesses A Soldier and Me

1.If you were deserted on an island what CD and movie would you take with you and why?
I would have to take a mixed CD. I have musical ADD and could never settle on just one artist. And I would probably have the entire Sex & The City series with me lol I LOVE that show!

2. Using only one word to describe you, what word would you use?
Outgoing

3. What items would you put in a time capsule and why?
a newspaper - for the current events and info, pictures - for obvious reasons, Bug's shoes - they're soo tiny

4. If you won a million dollars how would you spend it?
I would pay off all of our debt ((cars & the house)) put money into savings for college funds and then help my mom out and take my family on a very nice vacation.

5. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a Marine Bioloigst. I still could do it but it would be weird if we were ever stationed in a place like Lawton, OK ever again.

6. Best beauty item? worst beauty item?
I swear by MK's Miracle Skin Care Set & sunblock! Hmmm worst?? comb in hair color?

7. Mountain resort or tropical beach vacation?
Beach getaway everytime!

8. What is your favorite quote and why?
Say what you mean, mean what you say. Too many people don't tell the truth.

Easy Homemade Dumplings

It was a busy birthday weekend here at the hive, but Bug's birthday party was a great success and it is so great to know we have such wonderful people in our lives! She even had a few single soldiers here with gifts lol! Anyways, when I was about 8 months pregnant we watched Kung Fu Panda and I'm a closet-fat-kid and everytime they showed dumplings my mouth watered. I think we actually had to order take out. From that moment on, I have wanted to learn to make homemade dumplings but have just never gotten around to it. Then last week, I saw an episode of No(ooo) Reservations (with Anthony Bourdain) and he was eating new year's dumplings in China. This reignited the dumpling fire lit in my belly and I immediately googled a recipe. First thing is, they are SUPER easy! Second thing is, they are SUPER FREAKING delicious! I decided I would share the recipe here when J came up, gave me a kiss, and then granted me permission to make them whenever I wanted. Gee thanks, hun! LOL!

Recipe:

1 Ib. Sausage (I used Sage Jimmy Dean. Im sure there is a more appropriate kind but I used what I could find)
2 cups shredded* leeks
1 carrot shredded*
2 green onions shredded*
1 minced onion
1 egg
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp Soy Sauce
1 tbsp Veg oil
1 (14 oz) pkg of wonton wrappers

Combine all ingredients into bowl until well mixed. Place a large spoonful of filling in the center of a dumpling skin. Moisten the edges and pinch closed. Drop dumplings into boiling water, allow to cook until they float to top. About 6 or 7 minutes.

For a dipping sauce I used sesame oil and soy sauce. I would highly recommend some Tiger Sauce, though, if you like that kind of stuff.

*I used the Parmesan side of my cheese grader for shredding.

And... Wah-La


Yum!

Happy Birthday Bug!!

I don't think that there are ever words to describe the love a mother has for her child. It's something you can't understand ((maybe realize is a better word)) until you have children of your own. It's not that you don't understand, its just that you cant comprehend the love you can feel for another individual until you have birthed a child. When you do, suddenly all those things you swore you would NEVER do as a parent, you're doing. And you are embarrassed for having said you would never do them; more ignorant words can ever be spoken than, "I will NEVER do that when I have kids." There is so much to say about how wonderful it is and how tough it can be. But its all so cliche because there just aren't the right words to describe it. So I'm not going to bore you with cliche-gushings of a mother. Instead I made a picture to celebrate Bug's first year of life.



The second best thing, for me, to seeing Bug is seeing Bug with her daddy. When I watch them together it's like staring at half of my heart playing with the other half.


Happy Birthday, Bug! Mommy loves you!!

Wordless Wednesday Bug-Bomb!

Breastfeeding

As I have previously stated, I was fairly deluded about the ease I would have with breastfeeding. Before I had her, I had done as much research as I could with out actually trying things out and I had little to no input from outsiders on the how to aspect of breastfeeding. My mother didn't do it and none of the people around me had been successful enough at it to be able to give me a hand.

When we were in the hospital, I figured she wouldn't latch because she was starving and I was barely* producing colostrum. Can't blame the kid. She was hungry. The hospital staff graciously gave us several cases of the 2oz bottles of formula. It was appreciated but what I really needed was a nurse to sit down with me and tell me what to do and what to expect. One of the biggest issues I had when I got home was engorgement. No one prepared me for the agony that is engorgement. I had NO CLUE how painful and hard my boobs would get. When people ask about my recovery from birth, I tell them it was nothing compared to engorgement. At Rylee's first appointment, I tearfully asked the nurse what to do about my G-sized, rock hard extremely painful boobs. When she poked one of them with her finger, J had to physically restrain my hand from punching her in the face. I was told five different ways of handling the situation from every person I spoke to that day. Every one contradictory to the next. In the end, only the use of a good electrical double breast pump could give me any relief. This is the second piece of advice I give to all moms-to-be: Read up on engorgement be prepared for it and the best gift is a great breast pump.

Bug and I didn't get the hang of breastfeeding for awhile after she was born. We spent weeks pumping and bottle feeding and formula feeding. Whenever I felt she was "comfort" eating I would latch her on. She would get bored easily or just fall asleep, leaving me to leak all over myself. It was really hard to stick with it, to keep trying. I had several people, including her doctors, tell me I had tried and that it was ok if it didn't work. While I appreciated their sentiment, that wasn't the answer for me. Eventually her comfort-feeds turned into real feeds and she began taking the bottle less and less. By the time she was six weeks, I had managed to get her to exclusively breastfeeding. By then she was refusing the bottle and only wanted my boob. I was so happy we made it to that point I didn't care. At four months old we had thrush. Ouch! I kept at it through that and when we were both over it and still breastfeeding, I decided I had won. I was successful at breastfeeding. Anything after was cake.

I had said all along I would breastfeed until she got teeth. My poor boobs had been through so much, the thought of sharp little teeth on them made me cringe. When she was six months we had three straight nights of her nursing all night long to soothe her itching gums. I'm not good without my sleep and its hard to sleep when there is a baby itching her gums on your boob. After the third night, enough was enough. I slowly started cutting out one feeding a day and slowly started to introduce baby foods. Luckily for us our kid is a chunk and quickly adjusted to the bottle and pureed food. Now she eats as much as J some nights.

I really think the best advice I got about breastfeeding was to keep trying. It's frustrating and heartbreaking when it doesn't come easy. It is hard to remember that neither one of you have ever done it before and it takes practice. For something that comes so naturally to some, it's annoying when it doesn't come naturally to you. But it is worth the pain and the frustration. I understand that not everyone can and it's not an option for everyone but if it is, Breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your baby. Plus, there is nothing better than looking down at a milk-drunk-breastfeeding baby that is smiling back up at you.

My First Lesson About Motherhood

Before I had Bug, I was kind of hoping - No, confident - that she would come out and latch on with no problems or guidance needed from other parties. I had it all planned in my head: she would come out a perfectly pink little angel and latch right on and the doctors would congratulate me on not ripping and for my brief painless birth. It turns out denial is not just a river in Africa, It's a large compartment in Megs' head where she likes to go and play when she's about to experience something completely unknown to her. The birth wasn't all bad. For a first time mom I did have her fairly quickly and I managed to get through contractions until my water broke and then I politely asked for the epidural between sobs of pain.

They cleaned her off and weighed her while the doctor spent 45 minutes removing placenta and sewing me back to normal. She was a big kid at 8Ibs 8.5oz and on top of that she came out with one of her arms bent at her ear like she was stretching and got "sucked in." When they handed her to me, she looked at me like, "Are you kidding me?!" and then we both started to cry. Shortly thereafter, J left to run home to change, the doctor left for another birth and the nurse left for shift change, leaving me completely alone with a screaming child. Alone with this little person, I tried all I could do to get her to latch, and then I did what all adult women do when life gives them something they can't handle. I started to cry. Thankfully, a few minutes later the night nurse came in and asked why I was crying. I think I choked out, "I can't even feed my baby." Right then J walked in. Suddenly I wasn't in it alone anymore. She picked Rylee up and turned her, then walked out of the room and came back with a nipple shield. This made Rylee latch right on, but by then she was so hungry she didn't want my nipple. She wanted food and she wanted it now. When that didn't work, The nurse brought in an eye dropper and 2oz of formula and explained that it was important that we not give her more than 10cc's. Bug oikned down the small amount almost in one mouthful. She burped and then continued to scream. J and I kept trying to nurse her but she was too mad. We didn't give her anymore formula because we were explicitly told not to. By midnight, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen was making me wonder what we had gotten ourselves into. She had literally been screaming since her birth at 540pm. The nurse came in and said that she would take her so we could get some sleep. That was three hours and fifty minutes of the most amazing, rejuvinating sleep I have ever had. When I woke up, for the first time, I felt the mom-fear. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with my baby, what would I do when we left the hospital? I was sitting up waiting on the nurse, wondering what I would do when I was alone, when she brought a quiet Bug back in at 4am. She handed her to me and said, "She was just hungry. She ate 40cc's of formula." I looked at her and said, "Well I could have done that!" It was right then that I decided to follow my instincts.

Now, when family or friends are pregnant that is one of the two things I tell them. People were going to tell you to do it their way, but just because it is their way, doesn't always make it right, for your baby. If you think your baby is hungry, feed it. Do things the way you feel is right. God gives us Mom-insticts just for this reason. We know our babies better than anyone else can.


*Bug at 4am when the nurse brought her in. When I first got to really look at my baby*

Bug's Birthday Week

One week from today will be Bug's very first birthday. Since she is one, and I'm a sap, this week's blogs will all be "Bug-Themed." They will contain some of my biggest lessons as a new mom, to include, breast feeding, traveling, being a wife and a mom and some others.

Today's blog is going to be copied from a blog I wrote when she was about three weeks old. It was titled, "Quick Trip." I think it really says a lot about being a new parent. Enjoy :)


So I'm sitting here. It's Saturday morning and its the PERFECT morning for a Starbucks Coffee. Its cold and cloudy and gray outside. No problem right? I'll put the baby in her carseat, grab a bottle and the diaper bag and just run out and go through the drive thru. I'll be home in 20 minutes. Then my alarm goes off. Its been two hours, Time to pump. Ok, I'll pump and go after. I pump. Rylee wakes up and poops through her diaper and it gets all over her clothes, her blanket and me. Change of plans: Bathe the kid and then go. Dryer buzzes & phone rings. Switch the laundry over. "No, thank you, we aren't looking to refinance." Finally!! Keys, diaper bag, car seat.

Alarm goes off. Time to pump.

**Bug and I a couple of days before the blog**

Thoughtful Thursday **Something a little different**

Today's Thoughtful Thursday, I thought I would do something a little bit different. I'd really like for everyone to read and weigh in. Today's Thoughtful Thursday everyone can be thoughtful :)

Ok, this first thing is for all you military spouses especially and any non-spouses I do still value your opinion and would love to hear anything anyone has to add.

My husband sent a racially charged text message to one of his co-workers, as a joke of course. This co-worker has played in this game before, and J himself has received sexually explicit or otherwise "inappropriate" text messages from this person. Well, the said co-workers wife saw this particular message (on her HUSBANDS phone) and took offense to the content. This is a couple who has been in our house for parties, and have hung out with us on several different occasions. While they aren't close friends, I wouldn't call them just acquaintances, either. They know us. When she saw this message, and became offended, she threatened to her husband to take it to the chain of command. Trying to prevent this, her husband called mine and told him he offended her and asked him to apologize. This was the first time my husband heard about this. To remedy the situation, my husband then called the wife sincerely apologizing for the misunderstanding. He explained that this is behavior which is common among everyone and he is not racist and he also said that he would never text something inappropriate again. Then he again apologized. The wife said, "I'm in the middle of something, I'll call you back." and then hung up on him and never called back. Yesterday, we find out that my husband now has an EO violation pending investigation against him, because of this situation. I want to make it clear: this message was sent to the HUSBANDS phone, after repeatedly behaving in this manner.

Do you agree with this? Is an EO violation the Right way to handle this? Why or Why not?

***** Next thing I would like input on. It's much lighter *****

My little Daisy-dog will not stay in the yard. We have a huge yard, they are fed expensive all natural food and clean water twice a day. There is no reason for her to get out, but she does. She makes a hole. We plug it up. She digs a new one. I have tried cayenne pepper, we have tried fixing the fence, we have tried everything. The damn dog still gets out. She has been picked up by Lawton Animal Control once and we've been charged almost $600.00 to get her back. It's a pain in the ass. And frankly, we don't have the money if it happens again. She usually comes back, unless she's picked up by someone. I'm on the verge of tying her up; which I do NOT want to do. The reason we have this big ol' yard, is so our dogs have a nice place to play. If anyone has any tips on keeping a dog in the yard - I would LOVE to hear them.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Issues Update

I had an appointment yesterday regarding the cyst. It was with yet another new doctor. There is nothing like explaining your medical history to six different people who all work in the same building. He even asked me, "When did I see you last for this?" Thanks for showing up, guy... He quickly told me they would be removing the Mirena and putting me on a birth control pill to see if they could suppress the cyst. I am very skeptical of this since the cyst is already 3.5" in circumference but I'm not the medical professional so I think, 'we'll give it a try'. I started crying when he told me I would have to wait four weeks to see if the cyst had changed. I hate crying in front of doctors. I feel like they shut down when a patient cries, they have more important things to deal with than a hysterical woman. He sighed and asked why I was crying. When I told him I've felt like crap for three weeks and I didn't want to feel like crap for another four, he patted my leg and said, 'well, hopefully you don't' ((The only real way to describe how I feel is pregnant. Of course, my pregnancy was not fun. I was throwing up six or seven times a day for seven months. I couldn't grasp the whole beautiful-pregnant thing until after Bug was born. Feeling that sick was fine - sort of - when a baby was coming. Now its annoying and it interrupts my life)) I couldn't stop crying at this point and cried the whole rest of the appointment, more out of frustration than anything else.

When I was checking in, I ran into my actual OB-GYN and one of the favorite people I've met since being here, Dr. P. He was the only doctor I would see while I was pregnant and he delivered Bug. He asked me how things were told me my kid was adorable and huge and then told me to see him on the way out. When I came out of my appointment, he was going in one and I was still crying and didn't want to talk to anyone. After I had composed myself, I was sorry that I hadn't spoken with Dr. P on my way out. I thought I'd try to see if I could e-mail him or something and called but instead of giving me his e-mail they patched me through straight to him. He explained everything a little better and said that the reason to not rush into surgery is because I only have one ovary and they wouldn't want to scar it by having unnecessary surgery. He explained that the cyst was like a blood blister and just like they take a long time to go away on your skin; they take a long time to go away inside your body. He made me feel a lot better about everything and left me wishing that he was the only doctor I had to deal with at that ridiculous hospital.

Four weeks from yesterday, I go back to check on things. The doctor said that if it hasn't gotten smaller he will then order an ultrasound and we'll talk about surgery but not until then. In the mean time, I'm on two different antibiotics that have to be taken multiple times throughout the day and a birth control pill. I think it's about nine pills total. Also, I've been ordered by my husband and doctor to stay off the horses. I was kind of hoping Dr. P would tell me that it was ok, so I could tell J riding wouldn't cause any further issues, but that didn't happen -- EPIC backfire. Dr. P said to give it a rest for a couple months. I'm going to see how things are going at the next appointment. So, yeah. I still feel like crap and I have to wait a month and that's all I got.

My Favorite Bee

Things have been a little depressing around here as of late, and frankly it's getting old, even to me. I'm not that kind of person. I try and stay positive and look at the bright side of things; even if it is a possibly-cancerous-hard-mass taking my abdomen hostage. So today, I thought I would do something different. Today I'm going to tell you all about my favorite bee in this little hive I've got; Ashley.

Ashley and I met on Myspace. Judge me if you want, but we've become inseperable since we've gotten to know each other. It's a really funny story, actually. I was at home and lonely while my husband was deployed and searching the list of people who were online on myspace within a five mile radius of me, when I came across Ashley, who's name at the time was something like '1/2 my heart is in Iraq' Or something close to that. At the time, my husband was stationed at Ft. Bragg in NC, but we lived 60 miles north of post in Cary. Besides how beautiful it is in Cary, one of my FAVORITE things about the town is the lack of military presence. I think to this day she is the only other wife I ever met, that lived there. So, I sent her a message. Her husband was in Iraq; mine was in Iraq. I felt that if they weren't in the same unit, chances of them at least knowing the other, were good. I message her and tell her my husband is deployed and that I call myself an anti-wife because I don't usually do the whole "military wife" thing. She messaged me back and asked what unit J was in. I was so detached from the whole thing, I didn't know. I mailed J a letter every day, and I'm such an air head sometimes, I had no clue which part of the address was his unit. Now, we weren't friends on myspace yet and my page was locked so she couldn't see my pictures or anything, but I had to laugh when I got a response back calling me a liar. At that point I confirmed with J his unit and had added her as a friend, so she could see that I wasn't really lying. We continued to talk and a week later, we sat down for a glass of wine and two bottles later, we were good friends.

I've heard people say that God always gives you what you need, when you need it. That is exactly how it was when I met Ashley. She was the same anti-wife that I was; That I am, actually. She was my only military spouse friend. She knew exactly what was going on in my head and we could hang out with each other and have a good time and keep each other out of trouble. She was my date and I was hers. We had so much fun waiting on the boys to come home! J says some of my best stories start with 'When J was deployed, Ashley and I...' After the boys got home, we were worried they wouldn't like each other, but they did and then we all became friends. In November of 08 they moved and we left in April to come here.

As things have changed around us, we've still remained really close. They came to see us when Bug was born. And when we go to see my madre in NOLA, they meet us and hang out. It's been nice to have a really good friend who understands the military frustrations living this life can bring. We've actually joked that are next duty station decision had to be based on where the other was going to go. Unfortunately, my husband is Airborne and after being at this "Leg" unit, never wants to deal with another one again. We are going back to Bragg in 2011 and they are not. They won't be too far, though, if they go where they are wanting, they'll be a short ten hour drive away. "Short" used loosely, but it's a lot closer than 18 hours.

I don't have the time right now to put all of the pictures in that I want to. But here is a picture of Her, Bug and I on the ferry Mardi Gras weekend.


and one of the two of us later that evening when Bug was hanging out with Grandma



I miss her and I love her :)

Relaxin...

I know I just posted but I had originally gotten on here to post about our awesome tradition: The End-of-Cycle Party.

I am sitting here, in my pjs, on my over sized sectional sofa with my feet up and a nice comfy pillow under my head and I am snuggling a cup of coffee. J suffering from the onset of a rare form of "Irish Flu," and Bug are both upstairs asleep. The house is quiet except for Yard Crashers on the tv. I love this feeling. The only way to describe it is *aaahhhh!* I love to sit.

The last few days have been non-stop going. Friday, after a lot of reminiscing about how the hospital here took four weeks to diagnose a potentially deadly illness in a 4 week old, I decided not to wait on them and went to the ER. They didn't do much but they did set up an appt with an OB ((which they said my dr should have done before calling me)) and they gave me some pain meds. I don't take pain meds but at least I have them in case I really NEED them. I felt better about everything just knowing I will speak to someone about erything first thing Tuesday morning.

Yesterday, We did a fall-cleaning and went grocery shopping. Every eleven weeks, this house gets scrubbed down, top to bottom. I had to laugh when, three hours into house-scrub, my husband walked passed me, smacked my butt and said "Keep up the good work!" And I responded with, "If I kept up 'the good work' We wouldn't be doing this right now." I've already blogged about my new level of Domestic Goddess-ness, so I will just say the house really needed it. The reason we do it every eleven weeks is because at the end of every cycle we have a bbq party to celebrate another cycle down in our prison sentence here at Ft. Sill. It started with two people, the first party, and last night we had about eleven people here and two kids, other than our own. Several of the newcomers, I had never met before and it was nice to meet a couple of the other spouses. There is always drunken debauchery, last night was no different, right down to a guy getting smacked by a girl for an unwanted ass-grab and then almost falling on his face drunk. We always take keys, though and hide them. No drunk driving from our house. It was so nice to just hang out and talk to people and let go of last week. I even had some wine. It was a fun night and nothing got broken or puked on, which makes it a success in my book.

Today, I have resigned myself to sit. Just sit. The kitchen needs to be mopped and the whole house needs to be vacuumed, but Im ignoring it for the moment. The only reason I will be getting off this couch today, is for a ride at 4pm.

**aaahhh!** sit... Life is good.

*Tag* I'm it!

I got tagged by Kendra at Uncork and Unwined. She is having... hosting? I don't know which the correct term is... But in any case she is throwing ((hahaha! I'm ridiculous)) a giveaway. Go over and check out her blog and get in on a yummy-looking coffee giveaway!!

1. If you could have any superpower what would you have? Why?

I already have one. I can create human life :oP

2. Who is your style icon?

I used to be so in to fashion it wasn't even funny. I always swore (before I had her of course) beig a mom wouldn't change that, but it has. If I had to choose a celebrity, I would say Jennifer Aniston. She has great casual style!

3. What is your favorite quote?

I'm a big fan of "It is, what it is." and "Don't say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face."

4. What is the best compliment you've ever received?

I have always felt that my engagement/wedding ring has been the most amazing compliment I have ever gotten. For someone to like you enough, to ask you to spend the rest of your life with them; thats a pretty impressive compliment!

5. What playlist/cd is your CD player/iPod right now?

Oh wow, Ok. I have musical A.D.D. I could be listening to Miranda Lambert one second, Johnny Cash the next, Flyleaf the next and in another minute be listening to Britney Spears. We have 43 days of music on our Ipod. I usually just put in on random and listen to whatever comes on.

6. Are you a night owl or a morning person?

Definitely a morning person. After nine pm I am worthless.

7. Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Dogs. We have two, a boy and a girl.
Bocephus ((Yes after Hank Jr)) He is the silliest dog ever! He always goes backwards out of door. Never forward. And he's not a fan of me. He only puts up with me because of J


And a Daisy-Mae dog. I got Her when J was deployed the last time to keep me company. I was living in a little apartment and didn't feel it big enough for Bo, so he stayed with a friend who had a nice big yard. Daisy is my little girl.


8. What is the meaning behind your blog name?

When I was going to start the daycare I wanted a cute name for the business. I liked the idea of busy bee's but it's been done before, so I went through a bunch of different "bug" and "bee" themed names until I came up with Sugar Bee's. It stuck and I kind of thought the blog name should be representative of the business.

Now I must tag 8 people ((because 8 its great!!))but most of the people that I would be taggin have already been tag. So instead of being redundant, I'm just going to tag three people who's blogs I love to read!

LTarmywife
Beka
Whitney

Well...

I spoke with my doctor yesterday. I have a 7mm cyst on my right (and only) ovary. It has seperations and they are referring me to a surgeon. She is fairly sure he will want to do surgery as, at this size, they can torse and cause a lot of damage. Now I start the waiting game...

Don't these people know Im a control freak?! Wait. They're off their freakin rockers. From what she said it could be up to two more weeks before I even speak to the surgeon. I'm in pain now and I don't want to wait. What if it ruptures? What if it causes another torsion? So a visit to the ER might be in my future. I'm a firm believer in the ER is for people who are dying. I have been to the ER twice in my life. Once for the previous cyst and once from a miscarriage. I am not one of those people who just goes to the ER. However, I really don't want to mess with a cyst on my only ovary.

I'm ok today. Yesterday, I was a mess. It still sucks, but I'm ok. At least we know whats going on and what needs to be done.

Medical Issues

This week has really sucked. There is a lot going one this week. My English class is ending and I have a paper due and a final. I have court today. I had one appointment with my Doctor, it turned into three. Bug has a cold and I think she is getting some molars in or something and has been up the majority of the past two nights screaming "Ow". Yesterday, I think I had gotten a total of about four hours of sleep and last night, my husband got up with her first, which allowed me to get about six hours of sleep. Right now a lot of you are saying "Megs, you have a one year old. If you are getting six straight hours of sleep, you're doing pretty good." But I'm just not that kind of girl. I like to sleep. I usually sleep for about eight to ten hours a night. Four is tough to live off of when you are used to ten blissful hours of sleep.

I have been trying to decide these last couple of days, how much of what is happening I really want to post on the Internet for everyone to see. But it's not truly a blog about my life if I don't post important things about my life when they happen.

In 2003, when I was eighteen years old, I thought I was pregnant. I had quite a few of the symptoms including a three week late period. Even though I was getting negative tests, without my period I still was thinking I was pregnant. In the third week of my late period, I woke up to excruciating pain. I have always had very bad periods and I assumed that I was finally starting my period. Then pretty suddenly, I threw up a nasty yellow-brown color and the floor tilted beneath me and the room started to spin and I knew something wasn't right. We went to the ER where I was poked, prodded, stuck with needles and everything else they could think of for sixteen hours before they came to the conclusion they didn't know what was happening and they needed to do surgery. I was given vicodin for the pain but not allowed to eat or drink all day and by the time they put me under I really could have cared less what they were doing, as long as it would relieve some of my pain. When I woke up, except for feeling like I had just been drugged, I felt a lot better. They told me I had ovarian cysts on each side. Your ovaries are normally 3mm. One of them was 8mm and the other was 10mm. The left side, the 8mm cyst, moved around and turned itself facing backwards and caused a torsion of my fallopian tube. A torsion is what happens when your blood flow is cut off to s certain part of your body. It is extremely painful and if not treated quickly can cause major damage to whatever organ has torsed. In my case, in cut off circulation to the ovary and essentially killed it. They removed my ovary and the cyst from the other side in the surgery. After my surgery at my follow up visit with the doctor she explained to me that long term use of estrogen based birth control can help lead to ovarian cysts. She said it was a side effect and that it is written on the packaging, that everyone ignores. After she told me this I stopped taking birth control pills. I felt lied to. I was eighteen and now only had one ovary because no one ever said "Hey, if you feel weird cramps on either side of your body, while taking this pill, just make an appt to have it checked out." Everyone has cysts. They are formed during ovulation to help release the egg. In most people, they release the egg and then they disappear. Well I'm not like most people anyways, why should my body be?

After the surgery, I was off of birth control for a long time. When I tried to get back on the pill, they gave me an estrogen free pill because I have migraines. Within three weeks, I had another cyst and I stopped the pill as soon as I noticed it and haven't had a problem since. I was told the ovary I have would take over for the lack of the other one. It took us a while to concieve Bug, but they assured me that was not the ovary, just the timing. After I had her, I was really leary of being on birth control again. My doctor and I talked for a long time about what my options were and we decided Mirena was the best way to go. Low hormones since it sits in your uterus and it can be removed quickly if there is ever a problem. As much as I didn't want to deal with birth control again, I didn't want to have another baby right then either. I had the Mirena put in in Dec and have had no problems with it.

Two weeks ago, I started feeling... not right. I have been extremely tired, weird cramping, nauseous and bloated, particularly after my riding lessons and just plain moody. There is no other way to describe the moody but as a royal bitch. For three days I talked myself into why a baby right now wouldn't be so bad, and when I thought that I would be happy about it, I took a pregnancy test and was actually disappointed to see a negative result. So I made a doctor's appointment for a regular physical. There were quite a few things I wanted to discuss with her and I figured it was the Mirena causing the symptoms. J and I talked and decided to just get it out of there, anyways. She didn't have time at that appointment on Monday to do a pelvic exam and made an appt for me to go back on Tues. That appt was rescheduled for the end of next week after she called in sick. Wednesday, I had an ultrasound. The funny thing about ultrasounds is they don't allow the techs to tell you anything because they aren't doctors. I get that, I really do. But if they see something, they see something and should be allowed to tell you. She did a great job and laying there talking to a complete stranger with an U/S stick shoved in my woo hoo was only slightly uncomfortable because she was so nice. The first thing out of her mouth was, "What is going on, on your right side girl?!" Then because she couldn't say much, she told me that if I have any pain at all, from what she saw, she would like me to go straight to the ER. She couldn't say whether it was cyst but she hinted to the fact that things were growing in there that shouldn't be. She even told me that if it was her, she would stay off the horses until the issue was solved. SHe also told me she wasn't trying to freak me out and not to let me imagination go crazy because if it was really bad, I would be waiting for the radiologist to look at the u/s and then going straight to GYN for surgery. Some how that didn't really make me feel better.

I'm not done having kids. I'm not. We want a son ((I already put in my order)). Maybe another after him. I'm almost 26, I'm a little young to rule out the possibility of having anymore children. So today, on top of EVERYTHING else that is going on, I am waiting for a call from my PCP to tell me what we are going to do about whatever the F is going on, on the only ovary I have left. Maybe its the lack of sleep, but I'm freakin out here people! Even something as "simple" as surgery to remove the cyst could be potentially dangerous to the possibility of future children.

I really wanted to share this because I think a lot of people ignore or play down things that are going on with their bodies, because that is what our doctor's do. If you have something that is going on, like cramps that are different from period cramps, or whatever the case may be, if it is not normal to you, call your doctor. This was the last thing I was expecting, I figured it was just the Mirena and she would yank it out and it would be over. Now all I can do is wait for the call from my doctor and find out what the next step is and hold my baby and pray everything will be fine and I will be able to have more.