Road Tripping - A Forward

My whole life has been spent in a car driving some where. From the time I was eighteen months old until I was five, we lived out of a yellow Ryder truck; traveling across this great nation of ours. In fact, before I was five, I had experienced more of this country than most do in their lifetimes. We often lived hours away from our family and many of the weekends in my youth were spent in the backseat driving to and from their houses. The amount of time spent in the car only increased as I became a driver. Now, eight or nine cross-country trips in a car under my belt, I feel it is safe to say that being on the road is like being "home" for me. Yes, even with a fifteen month old.

As you may have guessed, we drove to visit our family for our holiday vacation. It is a "quick" sixteen hour drive down I-40. Simple. Two lefts and a right, we like to joke. Having wasted four hours on our way there stopping for the benefit of our not-so-thrilled child, we decided to over-night-it on the way back. Some how I wound up with the worst part of night driving, the midnight to daylight shift, and I found it oddly cathartic. The drive to J's family home in Arizona takes us right through a portion of my life history. A lot of what happened in that place in my life made me who I am, yet for all the Megs-shaping that took place then, I rarely discuss it and think about it even less. But when you are driving in the middle of the night, through a city that was at one time your home, reflection is unavoidable.

Before we left the house in Arizona, J and I were dreading the drive. "This is gonna suck!" was repeated more times than I could count. No amount of telling ourselves how "quick" the drive is was going to get us over the length of time we were to be in the car with the kid. "Well, we can leave tomorrow," I said, "But it's still going to suck then too." I know this from personal experience. One time, on one of our many trips to my grandma's house, my little brother decided he didn't want to leave. He ran to a near by olive tree orchard and hid in a tree while my mother frantically searched every where for him. Right before my mom called the police, my cousin came clean and they found him a short while later. Not only did he still have to leave, but then we spent the majority of the car ride home listening to my mom's lecture on the days activities. Luckily, for me J agreed instead of hiding and a little while later we were saying good-bye to his family and pulling out of the driveway. I suck at good-byes. I cry every time. I hate how far we are from every one and even a well placed family drama can't deter me from the mom-guilt of having my child thousands of miles away from her family. Bug, either remembering the torture of her last sixteen hour ride in the car or instinctively knowing she wouldn't get to play with her Papa or her cousins for a long time, screamed for the first two hours of the drive, until she tired herself out and finally fell asleep. J drove for five hours and when it was my turn I downed a five-hour energy and turned on my road tripping music. By the time J was sound asleep in the passenger seat, I was well into a bag of chocolate peanut butter bugles and my reflection time.

I have stated before, besides the daily mess that is life, I am fairly happy with where I am at and who I am in life. When I think about all of the events that have unfolded in my life, I truly appreciate my life. My husband. My child. My family. Things haven't always been great. At some points things have been down right unbelievable. I've had a hard go at it. While I was driving and reflecting, I decided to share some of my experiences here. They won't be easy to write, but I think it's time to get rid of some this. If you'd care to take a ride, get in and buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride...

Remember me??

I used to be the girl who wrote here. I had witty, clever and thoughtful things to say ((or so I thought, anyways)). I would sit in the morning with my big ol' cup of coffee - mostly creamer but I like things sweet - and type away. I couldn't find me for a while. I lost that girl but I think she's back. Hope so, anyways. Writing has always been cathartic for me and yet I always stop doing it when I need the therapy the most. Go figure. Silly, girl.

December has been one crazy month. Is it really only eight days to Christmas? Didn't we just have Thanksgiving? Sugar Bee's Engraving participated in the Christ Kindl Markt on Ft. Sill the first weekend in December. Then we had our Holiday Open House here in the store ((Where I sit at the moment)) last weekend. This week has been filled with finals, order filling, baby appointments and Doctors appointments for me. Monday after my fifth - and very painful - migraine in two weeks, I made an appointment. Actually, I made two. One to see my doctor and one to have a consult with a chiropractor. Anyone want to take bets on which was the most effective? Tomorrow I have five orders to fill and then in less than 48 hours, we are leaving for a much needed ((and deserved)) Christmas vacation.

For nine beautiful days, Bug, her dad and I, will be in Fort Mohave, AZ visiting J's family for Christmas. We were there last year but our Christmas was marred by the tragic death of J's sister in a house fire. It's amazing what a funeral can do to a holiday. Of course I was sad but I had never met her. She was still my husband's sister; the aunt of my child she never got to see. But I was really disappointed. It was Bug's very first Christmas and instead of spending it in our Christmas pj's, drinking hot chocolate and watching A Christmas Story for the ninth time, we were waiting to hear from the funeral director. The day wasn't all bad though. My little brother had gotten in on his mid-tour leave from Afghanistan and my mom flew him right to me for Christmas. A thought that still makes me cry. At the start of all of it, I thought for sure we would have nothing good to remember about Bug's first Christmas. But when I look at her baby book all there are, are pages of her with people who love her. Obviously, we hope this year goes a little better. Buggie will have a blast this year. She is old enough to actually open presents. Not only that, but there are three certain little girl cousins I have a feeling she is going to be ecstatic to play with. There are four of them, born in a two year amount of time. She's going to have a blast! I'm also excited about the prospect of doing nothing for nine days. I can't work because I won't be at home where my tools are. I don't have to worry about school until January 10th. And everything else can just wait. After these last few months of going, going, going, I wonder if I will be able to handle doing nothing. Probably not.

Well, I think that pretty much catches me up. For now. There's customers in the store so I'm going to go. But that was nice. I've missed this bloggy girl.

Epiphany

I'm at the store. This is the first time in weeks that I haven't sat here and stewed on things. Things have been selling the last few days and, actually, this will be the first month Patty has to pay ME for having stuff in here. I came to conculsion this morning. Actually it was more of an epiphany: I have stressed the joy rght out of my hobby business. Four days ago J and I decided that December didn't matter and that Jan 1 it would all be somewhat over. I accepted it. I let go of everything that 'could be.' I relaxed about all of it and decided not to care. And now I'm making sales. My practical side is wondering if it's a coincidence. My other side is thanking God for reminding me I can't really control anything.

This morning, while making some pendants, I actaully ENJOYED what I was doing. I was smiling and finding pleasure in my HOBBY.

Weird.

General Life Update

I've been severely neglecting my blogging. It's not out of lack of things to say (( I've never really had that problem before ;-)) It's mostly been because of lack of time. The last three weeks have flown by at the craziest speed. I remember people telling me when I was young that, as an adult, life hits the fast-forward button. Everytime you wait for things to slow down or lighten up a bit, it just gets worse. I've never felt that hold more true than I do right at this moment.

Our Thanksgiving was good. I LOVE ((LOVE LOVE)) to cook Thanksgiving dinner and I was a little sad not to be doing it this year. But it seemed silly to insist on cooking a big ol' feast for J, Bug and I. So instead We spent it with some good friends and had some delicious turkey & stuffing. Also, we are having a Bon Voyage/End of Cycle/Holiday Extravaganza Party on Saturday, so technically I get to cook the 'big ol' feast then anyways. The day after Thanksgiving was super busy. I spent a disappointing morning at the store. For as busy as the mall was, the store was dead. The things that did sell were none of my things and by the time J came to get me, I was more than ready to leave. I did get to spend the morning with a new friend and it was very nice to get to meet her, even though she is shortly moving to Hawaii. Oh the joys of military friends. After he picked me up, J and I went to do some Christmas shopping at the PX. We got some great deals ((among them a last minute manager's special of 25% off all clearnace clothing)) and also got to spend some much needed time together alone. By the end of my lesson that night I was flat wore out. I got home and made the three of us some hot cocoa and then and racked out for the night at a quarter to eight. Yesterday was busy filling some orders that have been waiting to be done for over a week thanks to a shipping error at the mask company.

And now I am sitting in the store again... wondering what it would take to make some sales. It's dead. Again. And I've really come to accept the fact that Jan 1st will be my move out date. We have weighed all of our options and while it's great for brand recognition, it's doing nothing for our pocket books. I have sold two items in the almost 7 weeks that I have been here. The website and FB are offering me more sales and so, the logical business decision is o move out. I think I've said on here before, that God does not give you what you deserve, but just what you need. When I came into the store the first time, he was doing just that; giving me exactly what I needed. I have had the opportunity to meet some great women. And I do mean GREAT women! I have learned some great business lessons and also some great business management lessons. Knowing when to go is one of them. At this point any sales we make now, are only going to be pre-holiday sales ((which I would greatly appreciate)) are only going to be that. In January I'll be right back where I am now. In preperation for the move out of the store I have marked everything down 25%. Later this evening I will be posting the same sale on Sugar Bee's FB page for any of you who might want a peek.

Other than disappointing sales, life is good. I'm looking forward to our Holiday Extravaganza this weekend and We will be traveling to see J's family in a couple weeks for Christmas and I'm SO excited about that!!

How was your Thanksgiving? What was your best post-Thanksgiving deal??

Thanksgiving

I LOVE Thanksgiving. I love what it stands for. I love where the tradition came from. I love the food. Ok, I REALLY love the food. In the "olden" days of our family, back when things were good; my whole family would go to my grandma's house and she would make this HUGE turkey. It was chaos. It was loud. It was perfect. Our Thanksgiving's since haven't by any means been quiet, but they for sure haven't been the crazy, loud, chaotic Thanksgivings I had as a kid. I miss those holidays.

As an adult and military spouse, and of course, a mom, Thanksgiving has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I still tear up when I think about eating a big ol' turkey feast while my husband was on a mission in Iraq. And then again when it was my little brother. Military families give thanks so much more often then your typical family does. We could sit here all day, I'm sure and go over JUST military-things we are thankful for and how often we are thankful for them.

Now, Everyone knows that the original Thanksgiving feast was between the Plymouth Settlers & the Wampanoag Indians in honor of a bountiful harvest. However, very few people know that the holiday itself was actually done to honor Civil War soldiers and families. At the height of the Civil War, in 1863, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving day a national holiday and asked all Americans to ask God to “commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife” and to “heal the wounds of the nation.”(http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving) - A far cry from the paper pilgrim hats and horns of plenty we made as children.

This Thanksgiving day, I hope you all have family & loved ones and great food. I hope everyone has something of their own to be thankful for, but also remembers all those who don't get to have family & loved ones with them.

This Sunday at Church our pastor shared this awesome quote with us, I wanted to leave you with:
"Be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the Lord is good." Psalms 100:4-5

The Lord IS good. Happy Thanksgiving!!

<3

If teething were a person, I would punch them in the face - And other odds and ends

four days this week, my child has woken up every 45 minutes all night long. I don't do well with out sleep and Wednesday I had to take a sanity break to the barn to prevent bodily harm. Yesterday, my friend pointed out the little white spots on her gums and it all makes sense. Ahh, teething, How I loathe thee. It has been probably almost five months since she has had a tooth come in. She's older now. Dramatic as ever ((where DOES she get these things from?? **cough, cough**)) and MUCH more vocal.

I had a "Wordless Wednesday" to post, which included a sneak peak at this week's Comment Game giveaway. Then a "Thoughful Thursday" that included a list of songs I am going to write. They will be on the next top 40 with hits like, "Thank God your Home, You take her," "If the dogs don't stopping barking, I'm giving them away" and "I'm in love with my fabric softener." They will be big with the housewives. Unfortunately, my brain has been soo scattered from lack of sleep, I have accomplished exactly dick this week. So in attempt to right the lack of blogs this week here is the items that will be in this morning's Comment Game




((Inital's Can be made in any font))









Necklaces are available in these colors:


We also have a pendant with the word "Hope" On it.

Necklaces are normally $18.00/each ((or $30 for two)) shipping is $3.00. The first person who comments on the blog with their e-mail address will get their's for half off ((first one only)). Please put the color number and the pendant you want, or if you would like one customized, please put that in the comment as well.

Thanks for reading & have a great day!!

I've been holding this in awhile

I know I've been MIA the last couple of weeks. It has been pretty busy here in the hive and I've not only needed time to get all of the business taken care of, but also to process it. I'm a MAC. I have to process things before I can understand them and, I've said it before, when I get overwhelmed I have to re-boot. This started out as a normal post but somehow turned into a letter of sorts without it really meaning to. Writing it out has been really cathartic though.

There is SO much to say about the last two weeks. I have literally been consumed with this. I can't get over the things going on and more than anything I feel like I'm having to choose between my family & my family. I can't be in two places at once. And I hate it. I can't focus on the tasks at hand becasue I've never been in a situation I couldn't at least half-way get my mind wrapped around.

Bug and I took a last minute trip to California to help my mom take care of some family issues. Instead of slopping you all through the mud and muck that is my family, I'll just say that I understand how overwhelming caring for someone can be. I totally get becoming tired of dealing with caring for an elderly person. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to care for your own parent as if they were a child, all by yourself. Where I begin to get hazy is letting things get so far out of control without asking for help. The truth is some elderly people are like children. Would you let a child walk around running into things and falling over things because they cant use their glasses because the RX is bad? Would you watch a child's teeth fall out and do nothing? NOTHING?! Would you let a child's room become so layered in filth, you wouldn't sit down in it or walk into it without shoes? It is our bad for ignoring it. We were across the country with our heads in the sand pretending everything was hunky-dory. But only, ((ONLY!!!)) because we were told you had everything UNDER CONTROL. You guys didn't need us butting our big-noses into everything. Fine. We left. And at some point it became more than you could handle and because you chased us off, you had no one to ask for help. Nor do I believe you ever would have. So, yes, our bad for ignoring the situation. I know you've done what you have thought was best. But your bad for not asking for help when it was so DESPERATELY needed. The SADDEST part about all of this, is this little tiff you and mom had was over paying a "maid" TWENTY-FIVE dollars. This whole not-talking thing is about twenty-five LOUSY dollars that, from what I've been told, was never even ASKED FOR by the "maid". The only person, the ONLY ONE, who has suffered from your misplaced anger at a shitty situation is Grandma. She has paid because you couldn't just call and let someone know you were in over your proud head.

That is all.

Busy Momma Bee

Hello Blog. It has been a while since I have graced you with my thoughts hasn't it? I have been super busy the last two weeks. Bug and I took an unplanned, last minute, trip to take care of some family issues that I don't have time to discuss right now. And then as soon as we got back my cousin drove up from Ft. Hood for a wonderful pre-deployment visit. She spent from Tuesday of this week to this morning with us and it was so great to see her & her god-daughter! Plus I have been busy filling a few orders that I have gotten. I think things will calm down a bit now that everything is done.

Since this is a business/life blog, I wanted to let you all in on the special I have going on right now. And something fun I'm doing on my FB page.

This is a large 16oz glass coffee mug. They are normally $12.00/ea with $3.00/ea shipping.

If you go here and "like" the page you'll get 20% off fully customized coffee mugs until Sunday night ((thats my time for those of you in other countries)) Just leave me a comment with your e-mail address and I'll invoice you and e-mail you for customization details. These are GREAT stocking stuffers!!

Also, once you "like" the page, you'll be able to see when we play "The Comment Game". It happens every Friday. I post a picture of an item and the first person to comment gets it for 50% off!! Every one else gets 20% off for the rest of the weekend.

I leave you now with a pic of Bug and I from one of our adventures this week. And as always, thanks for reading!!

Why, Hello, Butt-Crack of Dawn

Holy. Moly. It's too early. Don't even ask why I'm awake because I don't even know. There is so much going on right now that I can't discuss here, yet. Plus there is a lot going on that I can ((and will)) discuss. I think all of it is making me restless. The things I can't discuss will have to wait until next week.

I've been wanting to get on here and talk about the things at the store. I am LOVING the owner of the store. She is an amazing person and she is doing her best to get her business going, just like me. I know it's a WAY overused saying, but God gives you the things you need when you need them. I definitely needed her to come into my life when she did. Last night I spent a couple of hours after closing, at the store, helping her paint the walls. The store looks amazing! I'll have to take some pictures once everything is back together.

In other business-related updates: I have been in contact with my Small Business Management Teacher about my new venture and he has offered to run a little marketing test-group on one of his classes with my website, so we can determine the right marketing mix I should be using - Yay! I have been trying not to get too down on the fact that still nothing has sold, and it's pretty easy to stay positive when the whole entire mall has had two of it's slowest months, EVER. That means, it's not just me who's not selling. Everyone is hopeful for a much busier November and December but, I'm not going to lie, past that I don't know what will happen. The day before I was to put my stuff into the store I got a fortune cookie that said, "Do what you can with what you have, where you are." I feel like thats where I'm at right now. I've done everything I can with what I have and now I just need to sit out the dry spell. And put twinkle lights up in the hutch. Twinkle lights might help, too.

I know this is a really random mix of topics but it is before six in the morning, so I think I'm allowed. I had my follow up ultrasound a week and a half ago. It took four days for the doctor to get back to me about it, but I waited patiently. The cyst is now "Normal with marked improvement" from my last ultrasound. We celebrated this news by cancelling my pre-op and surgery. I have decided it has to do with the birth control. I stopped taking it and I started feeling better and low and behold, I actually GOT better. The doctor said, "That may have been it." But not in an agreeable kind of way. It was more of a Pat-your-head kind of way. I don't care. I'm better!

Bug is up for our next topic of discussion. She is the CUTEST thing in the whole wide world!! {{You don't have to agree with me, I am fairly biased}} She has started making small sentances and it pleases me to no end that the first words she has decided to use together are "Thank you" "Bess {{Bless}} you" and "I love you". She also tells us "Ow' if she hurts herself, "uh. oh" if she drops something, "Eat" or "Bite" if she's hungry and "Baba" when she wants a drink. Or she just throws an epic tantrum. Hey, we can't have it all. I so cannot believe my little baby is almost 14 months old! She is growing up so fast. J has changed jobs, yet again, and he is now home with us all day. Bug is loving this. She follows him around saying, "Dada". And when he leaves the room she looks for him. It really is the sweetest thing in the world. Wow, ok, I'm done gushing over my family :-D

No really, I'm done. Before I go, I do want to send a little shout out to LTArmywife at Stetsons, Spurs & Stilettos. Her spouse just left for deployment and I just wanted to let her know I have been thinking about her. {{{Big HUGS!!}}}

Happy Halloween!!

Picture Share because it is Halloween, I just love her to death and she's just sooo stinkin cute...





This is one of my fav's!! ((below)) He REALLY loves that kid!!

Social Parade

Yay! I love to meet new people and I love new followers! I'm Megs. I have a thirteen month old, am an Army wife, a full time student, and a small business owner. My blog follows all my little life adventures. Enjoy!

A Short Story

I just sat down to a very big meal, that I made for myself. No one else is eating, just me. I made tons of entrees and side dishes and fruits and vegetables and desserts and beverages. Everything I made sounded good individually from the other foods, but together it makes an unappetizing meal. I was so hungry, I figured I would be ok to eat it all at the same time and just kept cooking, ignoring what was already on the table. It all sounded so good. But now, as I sit here staring at it, It makes me feel kind of... nauseous. Except for the wontons... those still look delicious.

Sitting here staring at the mashed potatoes next to the bowl of pasta, I start to wonder if I should just put half of the food on a shelf in the fridge and save it for later. I start to question my decision making abilities as I look at the pizza next to the Mexican food. Maybe, I've made myself too much? I was pretty hungry. But even on a good day Mexican food and pizza sounds like a bad choice.

Some of the plates start to stress me out. The food is going bad. I need to decide what I want to do with it. Will it last long enough in the fridge or should I just throw it out and be done with it now? If I get rid of one or two of the plates of food, will the others be allowed to stay? What will my husband think of me for wasting all this food??

The more I stare, the worse it gets and soon I become overwhelmed by all of it and just want to throw it all out and sit on the couch and wait until I'm hungry again and then maybe have... a bowl of cereal - it's much simpler. But I can't do that now, I'm already buried under all this food. Before I have a panic attack I push a large plate of rolls onto the floor. Oops. It opens a space on the table and I can move the plates around so there is more space between them. The table seems less full and I feel less overwhelmed. I know the pizza will reheat well, so I put it in a ziploc and toss it in the fridge. More room. The Chinese food was a good idea but I'm not hungry anymore and it doesn't keep well so I'll just throw it out. Same for the Mexican and the mashed potatoes. And so on. Soon, the items on the table look more like a proper meal and I'm even becoming hungry again. I don't feel so encumbered and I can eat happily, the food that is in front of me, The wontons.

I learn a valuable lesson from my cooking spree. When I cook I can't ignore the table. If I ignore the table, I'll wind up with more food than I need or want or that I can eat by myself.

How ((NOT)) to buy a House - Part 2

The craziness of the first week of living in this house continued for awhile. Every time we wanted to do one thing we'd have to completely stop what we were doing to clean up/move a project, paint, or we'd find that we had to fix three other issues before we could conquer the one at hand. Or, my very favorite, we'd need to go back to the hardware store, for only the fourth time that day. No really, once we went seven times in one day. Very shortly, we realized we were in over our Property Virgin Heads and that we needed help. And fast. Little-Mama was quickly becoming Big-Mama and the baby wasn't waiting on us to figure things out. Like many before us, when the going got tough, we called Daddy.

Well actually, J called his Daddy. Who just happens to be a contractor. A real one. Having never really asked his family for anything, when he called, they knew it was serious and managed to throw everything together and get here within two weeks. His Aunt, his Father and his brother, all came to help us fix the SO-WRONGS that were our house. I had high hopes they would at least see the potential in the place, but that was pretty much destroyed when Bob told us we weren't allowed to buy another house unless he was there to inspect it. Speaking of inspections... How did yours go? Well, dad, we weren't actually here for it. *Insert frowny face* Huh. Well that explains the house passing inspection with: standing water and black mold in this bathroom, the hole in the outside of the house, the THIRTEEN stairs ((I guess 'normal' houses have 14 - something about superstitions)) and the shotty job done on EVERYTHING! Yes, dad. We screwed up.

All *frowny faces* aside, They did so much work for us in the two weeks they were here, we never would have gotten it accomplished. Ever. Seriously, we didn't replace the air duct vents for nine months after we got here. That's right we had big giant holes in our ceilings. It took only $40 and ten minutes to solve the problem. But we ignored it. For nine months. While they were here, his family accomplished re-texture the walls of our entire upstairs, His dad put in new baseboards, they tore out ((to studs)) and re-finished our hall bathroom, they re-textured ceilings, they painted, put in five new doors, he built a brand new linen closet. OY! The LINEN CLOSET!! When we got here the "linen closet" was really an old set of kicthen cabinets set into a hole in the wall upstairs. Could you imagine? Not anchored in or anything. Just sitting in a GIANT hole in the wall. They did a LOT in two weeks. And on top of all that, they put up with a very hormonal, very pregnant, me. I tried to keep the house clean, that is very nearly impossible when all of that stuff is going on. I tried to help, did what they'd allow me, but it wasn't much.

The bathroom was a nightmare. I had naively thought it was just cosmetic surgery the house needed, but it turned out we needed a transplant doctor. Let's start with the floor. Peel and stick squares. I HATE peel and stick squares and someday when I'm Queen of everything, no one will be allowed to sell peel and stick squares so no home owner ever has to deal with them again. There was two layers of peel and stick floor. Two. Under them was a nice bubbly layer of water. Under the water, was four more layers of peel and stick squares and then a nice seventies orange laminate floor. I'm not kidding people, we had to add almost an inch of sub floor to make up for the height difference between the bathroom and hallway. In between each layer of flooring was a nice layer of mold.

The picture shows the 'pretty' rose-petal pink tile we removed and the yuck that was under the first two layers of peel and stick floor - white & black mold. We came to the conclusion once we reached the studs, since the house had been built every time there had been a major water issue in the bathroom they had just thrown peel and stick down to cover the problem. No one had ever actually solved it. To this day I wonder how much the previous home owners had to pay to get the inspector to pass the house. Maybe it was a good BJ?

Who knows. But if it hadn't been for J's family, we never would have gotten past it. We were already trying to find an exit strategy when they got here. I was/am so thankful they came. I was really thankful when they left, too. Pregnant-Hormonal me was tired of the banging, sawing, drilling, water leaks, yelling, and all the trips into the hardware stores. They made our house live able and safe to bring a baby into.


Our new bathroom :)

Decisions, Desicions

((Small break from How ((NOT)) to Buy a House series - do come back for it though))

I had a job interview today. For a very good job for this area. It went well, I think, and I was told that I would hear from her on Monday whether or not I had gotten the job. The pay isn't exactly what I had been hoping for, but it's 852% more than what I am making now. It's also a full time job which is more than I expected. All of it except the pay - which is probably good for the area- is great.

So why am I so bummed? I complained to you all for weeks about "wah wah me I can't find a job." I should be ecstatic. But I feel more confused now than I did then. When I was in my funk because I couldn't find a job or sell any of my stuff so I could be a real business, I asked God what I needed to do. I met the owner of this store ((I'm here for closing tonight)) and thought that was his way of saying, "Yes Megs, Go forth and prosper." Then Monday, three weeks, a Spirit of Survival, the filling of the store and only slightly more sales than I had made later, I get an e-mail asking for me to fill out an application so they could interview me for this position. Three weeks of telling myself not to rush it, things would pick up. Three weeks of trying to accept that I need to let go a little and try not to be so panicked about it. Three weeks of everyone around me telling to chill out. Now, NOW, they want an interview.

Let's discuss for a minute, shall we, what all Mrs. Megan has already got on her plate: a thirteen month old, a husband, a house ((who's maid never seems to show up)), three full time college classes I have completely ignored this semester, a promise to be in the store at least 3 days a week, filling orders ((should I ever FREAKING GET ANY)) and then there's my barn time that I can't live without otherwise I'd go crazy. I guess that somewhere in all that I could squeeze out forty hours a week for a full time job, right? Can't be too hard. And sleep? Sleep is a crutch. I don't need sleep.

There are so many variables here that I am not even going to list them. My eyes will go crossed and... do you smell that? Smells like... burning...

It must be my brain.

How ((NOT)) to buy a House - Part 1

I know I haven't written much in the last couple of weeks. I have had a bunch of things going on and as soon as I get on here to write about my lame problems, I read some of the blogs I follow and feel stupid for trying to whine about things that are so menial. The Grand Opening, which was last Saturday, went well. As a business owner I guess you could say it was a bit of a disappointment. I have come to the conclusion that it will never be enough now. This must be the fifth major lesson I've learned from all of this. Unless I had sold all of my inventory and made 100 orders, it wouldn't have been enough. It's not the money. I just want to prove to people that I can do it and it's not all for nothing and it will pay off. Just not tomorrow.

All that being said, I have decided, instead of boring you with Whiny McWhinerson I am going to tell you all about another lesson I have learned in the last couple of years; How ((NOT)) to buy a house. This is a long story. Actually, this is a several long stories. But I guarantee, one that you will benefit from if you are planning on purchasing a home any time soon.

We found out J was going Drill and being sent to Ft. Sill, OK when he was still on his last deployment. We had a long time to process the situation and decided it would be best to buy our first house once we arrived. We knew we would be here for roughly three years and the housing markets in military towns are rarely burdened by the markets in big cities, due to the comings and goings of military personnel. Three years would give us enough time to fix it up and hopefully build a nice amount of equity so we could sell and make decent enough money to buy a nice house, once we got to our next duty station. J and I agreed to look online and just see what Lawton had to offer and what our expectations should be for when we got here. We decided to look online first, move and then find a house once we were here. Essentially, we planned on moving twice. Doing the research this way we found, that for our budget, we were looking at houses that had kitchens and bathrooms that were going to have to pretty much be gutted and started from scratch. Also, we found that the houses here were all mostly 3 bedroom, 1.75 bathroom houses. We wanted 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

Everything was going well with our plans and research until I found out I was pregnant. After we knew it was going to stick, I found the idea of moving half way across the country 5 months pregnant and then moving again 6 months or more pregnant once we found a house, to be out of the question. Too hard on me and too hard on the pregnancy. J and I discussed this and though he assured me everything would be fine, I stood my ground on the subject and we decided to find a house BEFORE we moved. What it is pregnancy hormones do to a woman's brain, I'll never understand, but this is inevitably where things start to go wrong.

It just so happened that I came across a house on the Internet right about this time, that I thought would be perfect for us. It had three bedrooms, a large master with his and her walk-in closets and though the bathrooms needed to be updated, there was two and a half of them and also the kitchen was brand new, with custom cabinets and granite counter tops. Even better then all that, It was actually below our price range. We both like the style of the house and even though the real estate agent emailed about 30 pictures of all the potential issues, we decided to go ahead with the bargaining. The real estate agent also told me the house was dirty and said she insisted on putting professional cleaning in the contract. This should have been a red flag but it wasn't. I thought it made sense to have it professionally cleaned, after all that's what they do when you get a new apartment, right? Soon, we were passed the inspection and ready to sign the contract. We were excited to be first time home buyers. We knew it would take some work to get the house to what we wanted it to be but nothing that wasn't cosmetic. The perfect first time home.

A month later we were in the car on our way to Lawton, OK. Our new home and new life. Our trip did not go as planned and 3/4 of the way through Arkansas my brand new car engine seized. The dealer was astounded that my 2006 with 30,000 mile engine had died the way it did. We were astounded to find out that this had never happened before and because of the car I drive there wasn't just an extra engine laying around anywhere close. Actually, I think his words were in the "Continental United States". Now down to one car, we piled all of my stuff, our two dogs and everything of J's into his small car and continued on our way. We were looking forward to seeing and being in our house to make up for the car incident. Man were we in for it.

When we drove through Lawton, we weren't really surprised by how small it is but we were disappointed by the lack of amenities you usually find next to a military post. Like a Target. Or a Dunkin Donuts. We pulled up in our driveway and both of us had the biggest smiles on our faces. The lawn needed to be mowed and the outside of the house needed some work, but it was what we expected. Then we walked through the front door. The house was disgusting. No disgusting doesn't even describe the level of filth these people had been living in. We could actually see where their pictures and decorations hung on the wall and where they had there living room furniture; The walls were so greasy around it all. The kitchen was even worse. There was hairy mold in three of the cabinets. The stove looked as if it hadn't been cleaned in years and the fridge... was well... just gross. On our way up stairs we noticed a three by three inch hole they cut into the ceiling, from what we could tell, to get some piece of furniture out of the house. The "hardwood floors" boasted in the ad were all covered in 12-inch peal and stick tile, that was poignantly left off the ad. The bathrooms were what we expected, except for the feces left in the toilet and the mushy floors. The third bedroom had a perfect line of poop on the wall where an animal cage had been sitting and the entire house was dotted with chunks of chewed blue bubble gum. Chewed freaking gum. We also found a bunch of things you don't think to look for in pictures. Every wall in the house had a different texture than the one it connected to. All the light switches and plug in face plates were yellow and gross. The handrail going up the stairs was literally covered black with sticky and grime. We even found boogers and snot.

I can tell you that I'm a pretty laid back person. Take it as it comes. Flexibility is key when your married to the military. I try to handle every situation like I would want it to be handled if I was on the other side of it. This was not one of those times. I called my real estate agent and explained to her as nicely as I could that the house had not been cleaned like it should have been. It was Monday. Our stuff was arriving Friday. She had until Thursday night to fix the problem or I would be going to JAG. I took pictures. There were clearly items that should have NEVER passed the inspection, the family and the listing real estate agent knew we were military and coming from out of town, I was sure this kind of jilting would be great on the 9 o'clock news. When we got off the phone, she called the listing agent and I can only imagine the ass chewing she gave him, if for nothing other than getting one from me. When she called me back she was out of breathe. A maid was arriving first thing in the morning. I could leave a key if we didn't want to stay there until it was cleaned. The kicker was he told he had walked through the house and felt that it "wasn't that bad." I remember screaming into the phone, "TELL HIM TO COME OVER HERE RIGHT NOW AND TELL ME WHAT PART OF THIS 'ISN'T THAT BAD'!!!" I was heated.

He did, in fact, get a maid to the house the very next morning. Lucky enough for us, J had a very good friend stationed here at the time who was good enough to give us his bed for as long as we needed it. We worked 16 hour days all week cleaning, painting and removing gum, trash and peel and stick flooring. When I say painting, I mean we painted. EVERY. Single. Wall. In. This. House. We worked so hard on the house that first week, when I think about it now, I have no clue how I didn't go into premature labor and have to file for divorce at the same time. We tell people now that the fact that we made it through this as a couple shows we'll last through anything. Once it was cleaned the house wasn't that bad. It had our stuff in it and it was at least clean. But we were far from done.

The filth on the outside should have been a warning to what was on the inside. Stay Tuned. Part 2 - Inspector Gadget

Some more Spirit of Survival Pics - Cuz I'm proud

The three ladies!!







And after today... I'M IN THE MALL!! Whooo Hoo!!

Better late than never - The Spirit of Survival 2010

Let me just begin by saying that for as crazy as things seem to be right now, on the inside I'm so excited I could just pee myself! Sunday was the Spirit of Survival. They had a 5k Run, a 1 mile walk and a childrens 1 mile. There were over 650 kids running and more than 700 adults ran! It was incredible. I met a woman who had three kids and had beaten cancer twice! She said, "I have three kids to take care of, you think I'm gonna let cancer win?!"

We got there fairly early to set up so that we would be one of the few set up while people were getting registration done for the day. Our booth turned out GREAT and we were one of the most festive of the day!


((Sugar Bee's stuff is on the table to the right))

Over the last week I have gotten to know the people that I will be sharing a good portion of my business time with and I am loving them! They are such amazing women! They both are inspirations to me and I am so happy that I found them! We had a great day and sold quite a bit of their stuff. I didn't do bad either. I made four orders and sold 6 other items that I had there. Plus, even better than that, I was able to meet & talk to lots of potential customers and let people know that I'll be in the mall soon. Everyone. EVERY one told me how great the frames were and the wine glasses. They loved them. As an artist, I was so nervous about people actually seeing my stuff for the first time, I thought I was going to throw up. I honestly do not know how painters and other artists do it. I was so nervous people were going to hate it; I think I may have had a mini panic attack as I was setting stuff out. But I felt a lot better after the first few people came by and the day ended up being a great day.

I am SO lucky! And SO blessed! I was going to post pictures but Blogger just gave up on me. I'll be back later to try again.

This week:

Some great things have happened this week as well as some not so great things. I got to have girls night out for the first time in forever. It was awesome! We went to see Little Big Town and SugarLand in concert in OKC. We had a blast and the show was AmAzing. I honestly think it's the best one Ive ever been too. They played for four hours! Ive never been to a concert that lasted that long! I also failed my first accounting test and government test. And by fail I mean FAIL. This week I have gotten two of the lowest scores on tests that I have EVER gotten in my life. The truth is my heads not in school right now and I just need to re-focus.

Tomorrow is the Spirit of Survival. I got 18 wine glasses and 13 picture frames made in 7 days ((I think)). It's been a busy week. Tuesday and Wednesday were two 12 hour days of masking & taping the glassware to get it ready for blasting and in all of that I only had two mis-haps. I blew some the lettering off one of the picture frames so it looks like it says, "I ran for my grandma" only the "m" and the "a" are all blasted away and smudged. Oh well I'll use it for orders. I made Special Order Forms, a Font List, a little advertisement for reasons to make special orders ANNNNDDD I also got my new logo from the Small Business Development Center of OK.

I'm way more nervous than I thought I'd be. I just need to be positive about everything and know that it will all work out. It's a little scary because we have put ourselves in a tough spot to get here, but if it pays off, it will be for the best. I got to work with the store owner on Friday, merchandising and setting out her stuff. I really enjoyed it. I am so excited about the store owner and her friend that is helping her run it. It's so funny how you think that people were put in your life right when you need them, sometimes its easy to forget you are probably showing up in their life right when they need you.

Before I go, I wanted to give you a sneak peak at the way the merchandise turned out for the Spirit of Survival tomorrow. Enjoy! <3

Are you breathing?

"Are you breathing?" A question that is asked several times during my riding lessons. Our trainer says it and before I can think of something witty to respond with, I realize that somewhere between the canter and the cross-bars I actually did, stop breathing. "Ya can't ride if you don't breathe." Thank you, Jane-Anne.

What is really funny is how often I find the Jane-Anne in my head asking me that question. I have adapted to it in the arena, but it fits so well in with every day life I ask it to myself all the time. A car runs the red light that would have been my green but someone loves me and I happened to be paying attention; "Are you breathing?" Stub my toe and instead of a long slough of cuss words, "Are you breathing?" Any stressful part of the day now and Im questioning my oxygen supply.

Tonight has been no exception. I got the mask I ordered in the mail, so I started working on making the mask I need for the designs for the Spirit of Survival this weekend. I am making 13 picture frames and 18 wine glasses all with pink-ribbon themes. Seven pages ((11x17")) of mask in total. This is the first time I am working with this many products at once and the first time I have made this much mask at once. Up until now my mask-making skills have been sub-par and I've managed to blow through 2 out of 3 images I have tried to wash out. Unfortunately for me, this evening I didn't have the extra to fix the problem if I had blown through it. As I stood over the sink with the first piece on the wash out board, guess what? I held my breath. After a few minutes, and probably a few color changes, I realized I was doing and thought, "Are you breathing?" Well no, no I'm not. "You can't ride if you don't breathe." Whether it was oxygen deprevation or not, a little light went off, and I realized what she's been saying. You can't know until you try. You can't ride if you don't breathe. Tonight, I decided breathing was important, For more than just obvious reasons. And I am proud to say I washed out all seven pages of mask without dicking up one single image.

"Are you breathing? Ya can't ride if you don't breathe." Thank you Jane-Anne, Lesson Learned.

Mi Vida Loca - Every single day

My birthday was yesterday. It started out as a great day and then about 30 minutes after dropping Bug of to run my "first-errands" - the ones every mil-wife has - I started to get a migraine. Pardon the expression, but it really pissed me off. So I took a mini-break, ate a bagel and had some coke and tried the new stuff they gave me, Maxalt. I was instructed to take one every two hours until the migraine went away and then the next time I have one, just take that specific amount of medicine right away. Well I took some, sat a minute ad tried to get some of my errands done. Sometimes if I ignore it enough, they'll go away for awhile. Well that didn't happen and I ended up only picking up the wine glasses and the picture frames for the Spirit of Survival, paid for the hutch for the store and then I made a quick stop to get in and cut my hair. That poor lady. When I get migraines, I get really bad zigzagging lines through one or both of my eyes. THANKFULLY, it happened in the salon and NOT while I was driving, but it was kind of annoying to have to close one eye and try to see if I liked what she was doing.

By the grace of God, Bug was with my friend. She assured me that Bug was not being a problem and demanded that I come home to nap. Which I did, but not before taking another Maxalt. When I woke up, the lights and numbness were gone, but my head was KILLING me. Even after some motrin and another Maxalt, I was sucking yesterday. All in all it was a good day, so many people remembered and sent me birthday wishes. It was so awesome and I felt special and thought of! J brought the hutch home and we ordered in chinese so I could baby my head. He's a good husband :)

This morning I was wide awake again at 5am. Again. Thinking about 50 different things at once. Again. I used the time to start spray painting the hutch. Something I didn't think you could fail at, but if you could see it, you would know I CLEARLY am not a painter. I have decided I am TOO overwhelmed and I need to wwwwooossssaahhh or something. It's definitely not helping the headache ((still pounding)). I'm trying really hard not to put myself under so much pressure to make this perfect. It needs to be great, but perfection just isn't gonna happen. At the same time every dollar we put into my* business is coming out of our* pockets right now. I think, "What if it doesn't sell?" "What if we don't get this money back?" "How will we manage?" "It will be my fault." One thing that I have read in every small business book for every class I have taken is that the income of a sole-proprietorship is limited by the fear or ability of the business owner. This rings in my ears every time I doubt myself. There is so much to be done; it seems like every time I scratch one thing off my list, three more replace it. I'm going to be overwhlemed, it's going to happen. I just need to get over it. It's how I handle it that matters.

How do I handle it? The migraine didn't help much. Migraines aren't a good cure for overwhelming situations. That's like pouring booze on alcoholism. Gasoline on fire... Guess it's time to change my tactics, huh?

Some new designs :)

I thought I would share some of my new designs to get some feedback from everyone. I hope you like them! The official move in date at the mall is Oct. 15th and Oct 10th I am working with the owner at The Spirit of Survival Walk for Breast Cancer Research here in Lawton, Ok. I'm really looking forward to that opportunity. A portion of every sale will go directly to breast cancer research. I found a hutch for the display in the store that I am STOKED about! I can't wait to get it home and paint it and put it in the store!

Warning: I am NOT a photographer... Hope the pictures do the products justice.

Anyways... on to that new stuff I was telling you about.

The necklace pendant. It turned out great!! I think they will be good sellers!


This is an "Army Dad" decanter. The back has dogtags "hanging" on to it :)


My favorite new design :) "Army mom" double sided 5x7 frame with dogtags "hanging" on the backside.



"Army Wife" frame has stage-carved "camouflage" carved on it 4x6 frame

There are several more in the works, including a decanter with only the dogtags "hanging" on it, some Army-themed wine glasses and such. And for all you other non-Army service wives, the items can all be customized for your specific branch... Im just at an Army post. 2+2=4.

If you see something you'd like for your house just send me an e-mail. None of this is on the website yet :)

lol hey, a girl can try right? ;0)

A short essay by me:

I like beer.

The end.

List maker, List maker, make me a list...

My meeting yesterday morning went great. The owner of the HissyFitz store in Lawton Central Mall will be proudly selling Sugar Bee's originals, hopefully, by the end of next week. We discussed things for an hour yesterday and decided it would be the best if I paid a "rental" fee for a spot in the store. I have to get a shelf for my stuff and it will be my job to go in and merchandise and all of that. She is very excited and when she looked at some of my stuff, out-right said that it would sell as long as I kept it stocked. All of this is exactly what I needed.

I feel like I have been walking around asleep. I got home yesterday and couldn't believe the level of disaster my house had reached. I'm behind in my homework in all THREE classes and on top of the house and school, my designer/business owner-A.D.D. has kicked in with so much recklessness I have lists for my lists sitting at my computer. I'm a list maker. When there are things to be done, I don't panic, I make lists. In the morning, I sit and have my coffee in the quiet and think about all of the things I have to accomplish in the day. I write it all down. It doesn't matter if its two things or twenty. It goes on the list. It also doesn't matter if it's something as menial as taking the trash out. It goes on my list.

My current lists do not contain household chores. They are business lists. Ihave a list of things I will be putting in the store. A list of things design to put in the store. A list of things I have to buy, licenses I need to get, signs I need to make and merchandising products that would be good to get. I also have a list of possible sayings for some cute new mugs. I made a list of numbers. Oy. The numbers. I did some calculations and came up with a number of items I need to sell to make it profitable for me. It's a high number for a girl working out of her garage all by herself. But it's not impossible - cuz it's on the list. Lists. Lists. Lists. Lists.

Oh the lists. So many lists. But I can do anything, as long as it's on the list.

Sugar Bee's Update

I'm not going to even try and play down the funk I've been in. I haven't been posting that much because who wants to listen to a wah-wah-cry baby whine about their lives? Not me. I don't even want to hear it and its MY life ((I'm pretty sure I've pointed this out already)). Well between the job searching, the house cleaning, Hurricane-Bug destroying the house every time I turn my back, and ah yes, accounting homework, this week has been pretty full.

I have been asking God to guide me and help me see what it is I need to do with myself. Is PT work in my future? Do I need to focus on the business? Do I just give up and live the whole of my life un-showered and hiding in my bed? ((Hey don't judge. You know you've been there.)) Well, about as I was finishing my little pep talk with God two nights ago, J's brother IM'd me and reminded me how lucky we are. Yes we are nearing ((someday in the not immediate future)) thirty and we don't have everything we want to have. What twenty-something does? Unless they've robbed a bank, they have rich parents, or won the lottery, not many of them out there. He also pointed out that while we aren't flying off to Rome on a whim, we aren't exactly living out of a box either. Thank you brother in law, for pointing that out.

Then, yet after another pep-talk with God about the work situation, Bug and I walked in to a new store in the mall. The owner was there. It's a cute store; she makes custom bows, t-shirts, headbands and has other gift-typy things. I asked her how business was and if she was a new business owner. She is. She is as frazzled as I am. I told her I call it new owner A.D.D. Then I asked her if she would be willing to sell hand carved stuff; I mean it fits in with the theme of the store? Why not? She then gave me some glass beads and asked me to carve them, then she said she would be willing to keep some of my stuff there in her store and we would work out a co-op relationship. Yay! And it's right before the holiday season starts!! Perfect!!

I think I may have found the kick in the ass I needed to get my butt out of this funk. I designed some Army-themed picture frames and made the designs to go on five of the clear 1.5" round beads she gave me. I made an initial, two local HS mascots, and an "Army Mom" and an "Army Wife." I think the Army ones are pretty cheesy, but hey, it's a Tradoc town. People come from all over for BCT graduations, why shouldn't we cash in on it?





The bible says ask and you'll get an answer. I'd really like to believe that because I asked for guidance, I received it. Now if only I could get an answer with this accounting homework...

It's My Blog, I can cry if I want to

In the last two weeks I think I have probably applied to at least 50 different jobs. If I didn't live in Lawton, I would be pretty worried about my resume at this point. But I do and even that isn't bringing me much comfort at the moment. I was really stoked about my interview yesterday. It went really well and I'm sure the position will be mine for the taking after my second interview this afternoon, If I want it.

You see the job is with a major retail chain. I had deluded myself ((yet again)) into believeing that because the type of job it was, meant it wasn't a "retail" job. Wrong. So. Very. Wrong. It is. They are looking for a floater , which means they cant guarantee any hours - at ALL. And it pays minimum wage. Yay me. Minimum wage. I'm not trying to be a snot here, but minimum wage doesn't cover childcare and gas for my car. Not unless I'm working a more than FT position ((then it's only slightly worth it)) and that obviously isn't happening. So now I have a choice. Continue with the hiring process because some money is better than no money. Or, tell them thanks, but no thanks and keep looking. I mean in all honesty, I haven't made that since I was 16. Am I being unreasonable?

Here's the thing. I haven't had any time the last few weeks to do anything business wise. Have you noticed a lack of Sugar Bee's information? I have. I have had one paying customer. One. It's not because I haven't wanted to work on the business, but there always seems to be something else that has to be done and unless I want to give up sleep ((which could be very dangerous for those around me)) I don't have another option. I'm in a tight spot. Im at a fork in a fork in the road. What we really need right now is extra income. If I could put some effort and time into the business I might be able to bring that in. However, It might take a while and we don't have a while. If I focus on getting a PT job Im losing that time and effort.

I just wish that I knew exactly what to do. Exactly how long it will take and exactly how much it would bring in.

Oh an Award!

I was awarded with the "One Lovely Blog Award" from Whitney at The Misadventures of Mrs. Duh. She's a fellow drill sergeant's wife and I LOVE to read her blog!


Thanks Whitney!!

The rules for accepting this award ar as follows:

1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pay it forward to 5 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.
Here we go!

So passing on the love:
1.) LTArmywife @ Stetsons, Spurs & Stilettos
2.)Mrs. Wood @ Superheros, Princesses, A Soldier & Me
3.) Jill @ A Troop's Girl
4.) Chantal @ A Blog A Day While Your Away
5.) Courtney @ Around the Kitchen Table

Check these ladies out! I love reading their blogs I'm sure you will too!

Things, a Thank you and a Tagging

I dry heaved for three hours last night until I finally threw up and felt better enough to sleep. This is the second time this has happened since my appointment two weeks ago. I wake up extremely nauseous and dry heave until I think my sides will explode. No, for those of you who are wondering, I'm not pregnant. I think they did three blood tests in the week of all my appointments and just for good measure I pee'd on a stick this morning. Negative.

I'm not sure that the pill they gave me is doing much to help the situation in there. I still feel yucky and have cramps. Plus I've been pretty bad about taking it when I'm supposed to. Missing it is actually one of my top three reasons why I hate the pill. I have been trying to ignore the situation as much as possible, to keep from driving myself crazy with 'what-if this?' or 'what-if that?' Last week was a nice distraction. J was on trail break and was home for the most part of the week. We also had bug's party and had to get that taken care of. Another good distraction.

I was a little worried at the start of this week, what my distractions would be for this week, when I realized Im two chapters behind in my accounting class, Bug had a one year appointment and I was waiting on a box from over seas. :) I got that box yesterday. Thank you Kendra for sending it! I lOVE all of it!! And the card was sweet :) Bug's appointment went well, once we were seen. The wait almost spurred an F-U-Lawton post, but I ran out of energy. It was ridiculous. We were at the hospital for more than two hours for bug to be seen and get her shots. We were early to our appointment and the only ones in the immunization clinic and somehow it still took two hours.

I can add another great distraction to the week's list; yesterday I got an interview for an PT office job. It's right up my alley and I'm keeping my everything crossed and praying that I get it. Not only could we use the money, but I could also use the sanity check.

I was tagged by Mrs. Wood at Superheros, Princesses A Soldier and Me

1.If you were deserted on an island what CD and movie would you take with you and why?
I would have to take a mixed CD. I have musical ADD and could never settle on just one artist. And I would probably have the entire Sex & The City series with me lol I LOVE that show!

2. Using only one word to describe you, what word would you use?
Outgoing

3. What items would you put in a time capsule and why?
a newspaper - for the current events and info, pictures - for obvious reasons, Bug's shoes - they're soo tiny

4. If you won a million dollars how would you spend it?
I would pay off all of our debt ((cars & the house)) put money into savings for college funds and then help my mom out and take my family on a very nice vacation.

5. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a Marine Bioloigst. I still could do it but it would be weird if we were ever stationed in a place like Lawton, OK ever again.

6. Best beauty item? worst beauty item?
I swear by MK's Miracle Skin Care Set & sunblock! Hmmm worst?? comb in hair color?

7. Mountain resort or tropical beach vacation?
Beach getaway everytime!

8. What is your favorite quote and why?
Say what you mean, mean what you say. Too many people don't tell the truth.

Easy Homemade Dumplings

It was a busy birthday weekend here at the hive, but Bug's birthday party was a great success and it is so great to know we have such wonderful people in our lives! She even had a few single soldiers here with gifts lol! Anyways, when I was about 8 months pregnant we watched Kung Fu Panda and I'm a closet-fat-kid and everytime they showed dumplings my mouth watered. I think we actually had to order take out. From that moment on, I have wanted to learn to make homemade dumplings but have just never gotten around to it. Then last week, I saw an episode of No(ooo) Reservations (with Anthony Bourdain) and he was eating new year's dumplings in China. This reignited the dumpling fire lit in my belly and I immediately googled a recipe. First thing is, they are SUPER easy! Second thing is, they are SUPER FREAKING delicious! I decided I would share the recipe here when J came up, gave me a kiss, and then granted me permission to make them whenever I wanted. Gee thanks, hun! LOL!

Recipe:

1 Ib. Sausage (I used Sage Jimmy Dean. Im sure there is a more appropriate kind but I used what I could find)
2 cups shredded* leeks
1 carrot shredded*
2 green onions shredded*
1 minced onion
1 egg
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp Soy Sauce
1 tbsp Veg oil
1 (14 oz) pkg of wonton wrappers

Combine all ingredients into bowl until well mixed. Place a large spoonful of filling in the center of a dumpling skin. Moisten the edges and pinch closed. Drop dumplings into boiling water, allow to cook until they float to top. About 6 or 7 minutes.

For a dipping sauce I used sesame oil and soy sauce. I would highly recommend some Tiger Sauce, though, if you like that kind of stuff.

*I used the Parmesan side of my cheese grader for shredding.

And... Wah-La


Yum!

Happy Birthday Bug!!

I don't think that there are ever words to describe the love a mother has for her child. It's something you can't understand ((maybe realize is a better word)) until you have children of your own. It's not that you don't understand, its just that you cant comprehend the love you can feel for another individual until you have birthed a child. When you do, suddenly all those things you swore you would NEVER do as a parent, you're doing. And you are embarrassed for having said you would never do them; more ignorant words can ever be spoken than, "I will NEVER do that when I have kids." There is so much to say about how wonderful it is and how tough it can be. But its all so cliche because there just aren't the right words to describe it. So I'm not going to bore you with cliche-gushings of a mother. Instead I made a picture to celebrate Bug's first year of life.



The second best thing, for me, to seeing Bug is seeing Bug with her daddy. When I watch them together it's like staring at half of my heart playing with the other half.


Happy Birthday, Bug! Mommy loves you!!

Wordless Wednesday Bug-Bomb!

Breastfeeding

As I have previously stated, I was fairly deluded about the ease I would have with breastfeeding. Before I had her, I had done as much research as I could with out actually trying things out and I had little to no input from outsiders on the how to aspect of breastfeeding. My mother didn't do it and none of the people around me had been successful enough at it to be able to give me a hand.

When we were in the hospital, I figured she wouldn't latch because she was starving and I was barely* producing colostrum. Can't blame the kid. She was hungry. The hospital staff graciously gave us several cases of the 2oz bottles of formula. It was appreciated but what I really needed was a nurse to sit down with me and tell me what to do and what to expect. One of the biggest issues I had when I got home was engorgement. No one prepared me for the agony that is engorgement. I had NO CLUE how painful and hard my boobs would get. When people ask about my recovery from birth, I tell them it was nothing compared to engorgement. At Rylee's first appointment, I tearfully asked the nurse what to do about my G-sized, rock hard extremely painful boobs. When she poked one of them with her finger, J had to physically restrain my hand from punching her in the face. I was told five different ways of handling the situation from every person I spoke to that day. Every one contradictory to the next. In the end, only the use of a good electrical double breast pump could give me any relief. This is the second piece of advice I give to all moms-to-be: Read up on engorgement be prepared for it and the best gift is a great breast pump.

Bug and I didn't get the hang of breastfeeding for awhile after she was born. We spent weeks pumping and bottle feeding and formula feeding. Whenever I felt she was "comfort" eating I would latch her on. She would get bored easily or just fall asleep, leaving me to leak all over myself. It was really hard to stick with it, to keep trying. I had several people, including her doctors, tell me I had tried and that it was ok if it didn't work. While I appreciated their sentiment, that wasn't the answer for me. Eventually her comfort-feeds turned into real feeds and she began taking the bottle less and less. By the time she was six weeks, I had managed to get her to exclusively breastfeeding. By then she was refusing the bottle and only wanted my boob. I was so happy we made it to that point I didn't care. At four months old we had thrush. Ouch! I kept at it through that and when we were both over it and still breastfeeding, I decided I had won. I was successful at breastfeeding. Anything after was cake.

I had said all along I would breastfeed until she got teeth. My poor boobs had been through so much, the thought of sharp little teeth on them made me cringe. When she was six months we had three straight nights of her nursing all night long to soothe her itching gums. I'm not good without my sleep and its hard to sleep when there is a baby itching her gums on your boob. After the third night, enough was enough. I slowly started cutting out one feeding a day and slowly started to introduce baby foods. Luckily for us our kid is a chunk and quickly adjusted to the bottle and pureed food. Now she eats as much as J some nights.

I really think the best advice I got about breastfeeding was to keep trying. It's frustrating and heartbreaking when it doesn't come easy. It is hard to remember that neither one of you have ever done it before and it takes practice. For something that comes so naturally to some, it's annoying when it doesn't come naturally to you. But it is worth the pain and the frustration. I understand that not everyone can and it's not an option for everyone but if it is, Breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your baby. Plus, there is nothing better than looking down at a milk-drunk-breastfeeding baby that is smiling back up at you.