Road Tripping - A Forward

My whole life has been spent in a car driving some where. From the time I was eighteen months old until I was five, we lived out of a yellow Ryder truck; traveling across this great nation of ours. In fact, before I was five, I had experienced more of this country than most do in their lifetimes. We often lived hours away from our family and many of the weekends in my youth were spent in the backseat driving to and from their houses. The amount of time spent in the car only increased as I became a driver. Now, eight or nine cross-country trips in a car under my belt, I feel it is safe to say that being on the road is like being "home" for me. Yes, even with a fifteen month old.

As you may have guessed, we drove to visit our family for our holiday vacation. It is a "quick" sixteen hour drive down I-40. Simple. Two lefts and a right, we like to joke. Having wasted four hours on our way there stopping for the benefit of our not-so-thrilled child, we decided to over-night-it on the way back. Some how I wound up with the worst part of night driving, the midnight to daylight shift, and I found it oddly cathartic. The drive to J's family home in Arizona takes us right through a portion of my life history. A lot of what happened in that place in my life made me who I am, yet for all the Megs-shaping that took place then, I rarely discuss it and think about it even less. But when you are driving in the middle of the night, through a city that was at one time your home, reflection is unavoidable.

Before we left the house in Arizona, J and I were dreading the drive. "This is gonna suck!" was repeated more times than I could count. No amount of telling ourselves how "quick" the drive is was going to get us over the length of time we were to be in the car with the kid. "Well, we can leave tomorrow," I said, "But it's still going to suck then too." I know this from personal experience. One time, on one of our many trips to my grandma's house, my little brother decided he didn't want to leave. He ran to a near by olive tree orchard and hid in a tree while my mother frantically searched every where for him. Right before my mom called the police, my cousin came clean and they found him a short while later. Not only did he still have to leave, but then we spent the majority of the car ride home listening to my mom's lecture on the days activities. Luckily, for me J agreed instead of hiding and a little while later we were saying good-bye to his family and pulling out of the driveway. I suck at good-byes. I cry every time. I hate how far we are from every one and even a well placed family drama can't deter me from the mom-guilt of having my child thousands of miles away from her family. Bug, either remembering the torture of her last sixteen hour ride in the car or instinctively knowing she wouldn't get to play with her Papa or her cousins for a long time, screamed for the first two hours of the drive, until she tired herself out and finally fell asleep. J drove for five hours and when it was my turn I downed a five-hour energy and turned on my road tripping music. By the time J was sound asleep in the passenger seat, I was well into a bag of chocolate peanut butter bugles and my reflection time.

I have stated before, besides the daily mess that is life, I am fairly happy with where I am at and who I am in life. When I think about all of the events that have unfolded in my life, I truly appreciate my life. My husband. My child. My family. Things haven't always been great. At some points things have been down right unbelievable. I've had a hard go at it. While I was driving and reflecting, I decided to share some of my experiences here. They won't be easy to write, but I think it's time to get rid of some this. If you'd care to take a ride, get in and buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride...