Decisions, Desicions

((Small break from How ((NOT)) to Buy a House series - do come back for it though))

I had a job interview today. For a very good job for this area. It went well, I think, and I was told that I would hear from her on Monday whether or not I had gotten the job. The pay isn't exactly what I had been hoping for, but it's 852% more than what I am making now. It's also a full time job which is more than I expected. All of it except the pay - which is probably good for the area- is great.

So why am I so bummed? I complained to you all for weeks about "wah wah me I can't find a job." I should be ecstatic. But I feel more confused now than I did then. When I was in my funk because I couldn't find a job or sell any of my stuff so I could be a real business, I asked God what I needed to do. I met the owner of this store ((I'm here for closing tonight)) and thought that was his way of saying, "Yes Megs, Go forth and prosper." Then Monday, three weeks, a Spirit of Survival, the filling of the store and only slightly more sales than I had made later, I get an e-mail asking for me to fill out an application so they could interview me for this position. Three weeks of telling myself not to rush it, things would pick up. Three weeks of trying to accept that I need to let go a little and try not to be so panicked about it. Three weeks of everyone around me telling to chill out. Now, NOW, they want an interview.

Let's discuss for a minute, shall we, what all Mrs. Megan has already got on her plate: a thirteen month old, a husband, a house ((who's maid never seems to show up)), three full time college classes I have completely ignored this semester, a promise to be in the store at least 3 days a week, filling orders ((should I ever FREAKING GET ANY)) and then there's my barn time that I can't live without otherwise I'd go crazy. I guess that somewhere in all that I could squeeze out forty hours a week for a full time job, right? Can't be too hard. And sleep? Sleep is a crutch. I don't need sleep.

There are so many variables here that I am not even going to list them. My eyes will go crossed and... do you smell that? Smells like... burning...

It must be my brain.