Dang it, I lost it!

My motivation has totally left the building. Or, at least, I can't see it from where I'm sitting. That means it's gone, right? There is so much I should be getting done right now, especially because Bug is sleeping and it's SO much easier to do chores when she's not yelling from the baby gate. There is a lot I have managed to accomplish today: I worked out, I went to the lake, I... well shoot. I could have sworn I've done more.

Today is day two of picking back up on my workouts. I hate it before I do them, but I'm always so glad after I'm done. When I had Bug, I weighed 199.8 and I was eccstatic that I didn't hit the 200 mark. By the first of the year, I had gotten down to 165, Where I quickly plateaued. By April I was fed up with my weight ((and the roll)) so I joined weight watchers and J bought me an elliptical. In the first week of doing both, I lost eight pounds. I'm really weird about working out in front of people. The gym is my nightmare. All those skinny, tan girls in their cute matching workout clothes and all the 300 pound muscle heads throwing weights around, it just freaks me out. Of course being Irish and turning BEAT RED when I workout, doesn't help either. Not kidding, one time in a Bally Total Fitness a trainor stopped me 30 minutes into my 45 minute run and asked if I was alright because of how red my face was. I panicked an quickly left. So, I have a strict rule about working out in front of people. Yes, even J. That being said, as quickly as I got settled into my new workout routine, life happened and suddenly we had two house guests and I couldn't workout anymore. When they left, I left for Portland for 12 days. I was able to keep up with WW while all of that was going on and managed to lose another three pounds. Then another two. Woo hoo!! Down to 150 pounds! That was less than I weighed when I got pregnant with Bug!

As great as that is, its still not where I'd like to be ((145)). Not to help matters, last week I kicked all good-eating habits out the window and gained three pounds back :o( yuck. So Sunday, I said, "That's it! I'm losing this weight!" "What?" My husband called from the other room, "Who are you talking to?"

That brings us to now... me sitting here on the couch with no motivation. I guess I need to remind myself more of how far I've come, instead of what I have left. To date, I've lost 49.8 pounds. I know whats left is not much, but it feels so far away.