The things that I am happy for

I get in these ruts sometimes. I focus SO completely on everything in my life that isn't going my way, I forget about the things that are. It doesn't happen very often and when it does, I'm the only person that can help the funk I drop into. When they happen, I have a few "poor-me" days and then I get bored with it. It's so exhausting to be so defeated by life.

So here is what I do to get out of it. The first thing I do is remember that God has a plan, even if I don't know what it is or understand it. He is in control, not me. The next thing I do is list the things that ARE going right for me. Today I did this aloud in the car on our way to Bug's appointment. It was after a nice twenty minute phase-four-meltdown from her, after her daddy left the house this morning.

1.) I am so very thankful for my amazing husband. He is so supportive and he never tells me no. He works so hard for us and everything we have is because of him. He is amazing and I love him more than I could ever put into words. Everything the last year has thrown at us has just made us a stronger couple. I always tell people if we haven't divorced yet, it's not going to happen. This last year was tough! He is an amazing husband and the best father I could have asked for, for Bug.

2.) Our beautiful amazing daughter. She truly is the light of our lives. She makes me laugh so much and I love it when I have dropped her off with a friend and when I get back she runs straight to me to give me the best hug I have ever gotten! She is smart, and healthy and she is everything I could have ever wanted in a daughter. I am so fortunate to have her.

3.) I am thankful for my family. I have two amazing brothers that I have great relationships with. A mother who is supportive and one of my best friends. I honestly do not know that many people who have the relationship with their siblings and parents that I do. I am SO blessed!

4.) J's family. They are the greatest in-laws I could have asked for! They accepted me only because J loved me. That was enough for them. They are so awesome! His father has had the ability to help us out in two of the toughest parts of the last year. They LOVE Bug. I mean LLOOOOVVEE. J's cousin said his dad almost tears up when they talk about us because we are so far away. And Bug is a TOTAL grandpa's girl! It's great!!

5.) Our health. None of us have anything seriously wrong with us health wise. Well physically, anyways. I think there are a few who would argue the mental aspect. We have a great house, now, we have great working cars, J works in a job he can never be fired from, or can never lower his pay ((unless he deserves it)) We have health insurance and food in our fridge and two great dogs....

About here is usually where I stop. I get to the dogs and I think about how trying to control the uncontrollable is so futile. All it does is stress me out. Let it go, I say to myself, its not worth it. It's not. So I let it go...

And man do I feel better.